Well, it's been awhile. A pretty long while. It helps that we have a desktop once again, thanks to some pretty cool friends of ours. (Yay N & R!)
Life...life has been sweet. It's been 2 years and roughly 2 months since Eric and I have been married. Yesterday, we were able to renew our vows in front of everyone at church. Something that Pastor Robin said really resonated with us...our journey has been long, rough and sometimes I've wanted to throw in the towel regarding healing and where God has been taking me.
When I first saw that our church was doing the vow renewals, I asked Eric about it. I wanted to see if he was interested. After we discussed it, he said go for it. So, we did.
About a day after signing up this past week, God reminded me of a word that He had given me regarding my relationship with my then-future husband. (I hadn't even met Eric yet when this word was given to me.) My husband would help heal some of the wounds in my heart and in my life. When I heard Him whisper that to me, I thought back to all of the things Eric and I have been through together. The night terrors, the insomnia, those moments where I slap his hands away because I couldn't bear to be touched, never knowing if it was a dream or reality that someone was trying to harm me. (This usually happens when he tries to shake me awake before the terror completely grabs ahold.) The emotional turmoil that he has had to go through, as I worked on being healed from the inside out when it came to the abuse.
I think this man deserves a cape. Because he's my hero. He has loved me through so much. Through tears, pain. He's held me as I wake up screaming or sobbing. He's kissed me awake knowing that, in my terror, I may not recognize him. But he does it anyways, trying to get me out of the terror before it truly begins. He's cried with me, walked with me, prayed over me, and stuck by my side.
Someone awhile ago told me that I had offended quite a number of people when I got married to this man. (Mostly on the way I married him, as we eloped.) I've lost quite a number of friendships, some due to offense, some naturally drifting away, and some because of the move. It still saddens me, the lose. But I can't nor don't regret it. Eric has been the greatest gift that my Abba Father has given me. He's used the arms of my husband to bring healing. The words spoken in the dark, which I'm terrified of, to bring light. He's used Eric's prayers to bring about a healing that has allowed me to quietly blossom and grow.
As the tears come into my eyes, I realize just how much I love this man. How much and how glad that I am married to this wonderful gift. My Abba Father has truly blessed me. Eric has been well worth the wait.
And as I think back and reflect in my quiet time this morning, I can't help but smile my large smile. From 2 years ago to now, I remember telling Eric that my heart's cry was to help people like me, to walk alongside young women who needed a shoulder and a mentor, to bring light into a place where few are willing to travel, to speak life into them and pull out what will later be such a marvelous, healing treasure. And to know that we are slowly beginning to do this as a couple. Eric, my strong, amazing Eric, has been willing to have our tiny little home be opened up to women searching for more...more Jesus, more knowledge, more life skills, and more friendship.
It's been a great 2 years and roughly 2 months. It's been a great season, despite its ups and downs. It's been...blessed. And I love seeing how Abba Father is slowly restoring things in different areas of my life. I know things will never be perfect, nor am I expecting them to. All I know is that I'm thankful that Eric brings a little bit of heaven to earth as we walk this life together. I love you, my handsome man.
Life...life has been sweet. It's been 2 years and roughly 2 months since Eric and I have been married. Yesterday, we were able to renew our vows in front of everyone at church. Something that Pastor Robin said really resonated with us...our journey has been long, rough and sometimes I've wanted to throw in the towel regarding healing and where God has been taking me.
When I first saw that our church was doing the vow renewals, I asked Eric about it. I wanted to see if he was interested. After we discussed it, he said go for it. So, we did.
About a day after signing up this past week, God reminded me of a word that He had given me regarding my relationship with my then-future husband. (I hadn't even met Eric yet when this word was given to me.) My husband would help heal some of the wounds in my heart and in my life. When I heard Him whisper that to me, I thought back to all of the things Eric and I have been through together. The night terrors, the insomnia, those moments where I slap his hands away because I couldn't bear to be touched, never knowing if it was a dream or reality that someone was trying to harm me. (This usually happens when he tries to shake me awake before the terror completely grabs ahold.) The emotional turmoil that he has had to go through, as I worked on being healed from the inside out when it came to the abuse.
I think this man deserves a cape. Because he's my hero. He has loved me through so much. Through tears, pain. He's held me as I wake up screaming or sobbing. He's kissed me awake knowing that, in my terror, I may not recognize him. But he does it anyways, trying to get me out of the terror before it truly begins. He's cried with me, walked with me, prayed over me, and stuck by my side.
Someone awhile ago told me that I had offended quite a number of people when I got married to this man. (Mostly on the way I married him, as we eloped.) I've lost quite a number of friendships, some due to offense, some naturally drifting away, and some because of the move. It still saddens me, the lose. But I can't nor don't regret it. Eric has been the greatest gift that my Abba Father has given me. He's used the arms of my husband to bring healing. The words spoken in the dark, which I'm terrified of, to bring light. He's used Eric's prayers to bring about a healing that has allowed me to quietly blossom and grow.
As the tears come into my eyes, I realize just how much I love this man. How much and how glad that I am married to this wonderful gift. My Abba Father has truly blessed me. Eric has been well worth the wait.
And as I think back and reflect in my quiet time this morning, I can't help but smile my large smile. From 2 years ago to now, I remember telling Eric that my heart's cry was to help people like me, to walk alongside young women who needed a shoulder and a mentor, to bring light into a place where few are willing to travel, to speak life into them and pull out what will later be such a marvelous, healing treasure. And to know that we are slowly beginning to do this as a couple. Eric, my strong, amazing Eric, has been willing to have our tiny little home be opened up to women searching for more...more Jesus, more knowledge, more life skills, and more friendship.
It's been a great 2 years and roughly 2 months. It's been a great season, despite its ups and downs. It's been...blessed. And I love seeing how Abba Father is slowly restoring things in different areas of my life. I know things will never be perfect, nor am I expecting them to. All I know is that I'm thankful that Eric brings a little bit of heaven to earth as we walk this life together. I love you, my handsome man.
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