Otherwise known as...the discouragement stage.
I know, I know. Even the trainer says I'm too hard on myself. But man. This. month. SUCKED.
So many medical things happening. Not being able to workout for 3 WEEKS. Yes. THREE WEEKS. That was so hard.
And then trying to get back into it, after so long. And to top it off, that's when the crazy busyness started at both jobs. And school. Did I forget to mention I now have to play catch-up with school work?! Which means I don't really sleep right now. Because I'm 3 weeks behind schedule on everything. Well, make that 2 weeks behind schedule. Maybe.
And I'm tired. And some stupid man made a horribly rude comment to me this past weekend, which discouraged me even more.
So, I'm trying to find that place again. And also trying to find my ankles under all the swelling...
Yeah. Month 5 has been the roughest month yet. I lost less than an inch in a month, and I gained 1.8 lbs this month. So yeah. I'm not happy. And all I want to do is quit. And complain. And throw things. And hide in my bed. And actually sleep...
I want to quit, give up, throw my hands in the air, and just say screw it all!!!!! I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP!!
But I'm trying not to. Trying to take one day at a time. Heck, more like taking 15 minutes at a time. No, if I'm truthful to myself, it's having to take one minute at a time. Because I'm not doing well mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. So, if you're a prayer warrior, prayers are so much appreciated right now. Even as the tears fall, I know that I'm at the pivotal moment that can change my course. And I'm trying to stay on course so badly. *sigh*
So, I'll try and look at some of the positives. Notice the word try.
NSVs:
1. This past week, I ran 0.86 miles on the treadmill. The farthest I've run on the treadmill! And that was at a 5.0 pace. I feel like I'll eventually get to my mile...hopefully by August. That'd be nice. But again...swollen ankles due to how much standing on my feet I've done...
2. This morning, I put on a pair of pants that didn't fit me last time I tried them. Last month, I couldn't fully pull them up past my thighs. Today, not only were they up all the way, I could get them zipped. And buttoned. Though I still have a muffin top in them. But not enough to stop me from wearing them. Only because all my other pants were dirty....due to work situations...
3. I'm slowly finding new recipes that I've been enjoying eating. As well as introducing more fruits into my eating habits. YAAAAY. I still don't like fruit, though...
4. Though I haven't given up my chocolate, I'm finding that I don't really crave it all that much anymore. I instead crave matzo w/ peanut butter and honey, or matzo w/ pb alternative....made from cookies...that is addicting...and yummy...and only 86 calories... :)
5. I haven't given up. Despite the intense desire to quit, I haven't given up.
6. I can now wear a Large in shirts from Old Navy. NOT an XXL. :) This. This made me happy!!!
7. When I did my run/walk intervals at the park, I went 2.12 miles in 36 minutes. I've never gone that far before!! Or that fast, that far! :)
8. I signed up for the Biggest Loser Obstacle Course Challenge. And whether anyone else goes w/ me or not, I'm going. I don't care if it's by myself. Some days, I kind of hope it is. Why? So I can prove to myself just how far I've come. I need this motivation so badly right now.
9. I no longer keep sweets in the house. As a matter of fact, I've stopped buying them, period. So my chocolate stash stays at work. And I now log EVERY PIECE OF CHOCOLATE that enters my mouth.
10. I've stopped shopping in the inner aisles of the grocery store for most of my things. I now try and stick to the outside aisles unless absolutely necessary. It's taken me almost a year to get to this point! AND I stuck to my budget!! :)
With all of that being said, that does make me feel a bit better to see and read all of that.
No pictures this month. I took them, but I really don't want to post them this time. They're just sad...so maybe next month.
Peace out.
I know, I know. Even the trainer says I'm too hard on myself. But man. This. month. SUCKED.
So many medical things happening. Not being able to workout for 3 WEEKS. Yes. THREE WEEKS. That was so hard.
And then trying to get back into it, after so long. And to top it off, that's when the crazy busyness started at both jobs. And school. Did I forget to mention I now have to play catch-up with school work?! Which means I don't really sleep right now. Because I'm 3 weeks behind schedule on everything. Well, make that 2 weeks behind schedule. Maybe.
And I'm tired. And some stupid man made a horribly rude comment to me this past weekend, which discouraged me even more.
So, I'm trying to find that place again. And also trying to find my ankles under all the swelling...
Yeah. Month 5 has been the roughest month yet. I lost less than an inch in a month, and I gained 1.8 lbs this month. So yeah. I'm not happy. And all I want to do is quit. And complain. And throw things. And hide in my bed. And actually sleep...
I want to quit, give up, throw my hands in the air, and just say screw it all!!!!! I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP!!
But I'm trying not to. Trying to take one day at a time. Heck, more like taking 15 minutes at a time. No, if I'm truthful to myself, it's having to take one minute at a time. Because I'm not doing well mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. So, if you're a prayer warrior, prayers are so much appreciated right now. Even as the tears fall, I know that I'm at the pivotal moment that can change my course. And I'm trying to stay on course so badly. *sigh*
So, I'll try and look at some of the positives. Notice the word try.
NSVs:
1. This past week, I ran 0.86 miles on the treadmill. The farthest I've run on the treadmill! And that was at a 5.0 pace. I feel like I'll eventually get to my mile...hopefully by August. That'd be nice. But again...swollen ankles due to how much standing on my feet I've done...
2. This morning, I put on a pair of pants that didn't fit me last time I tried them. Last month, I couldn't fully pull them up past my thighs. Today, not only were they up all the way, I could get them zipped. And buttoned. Though I still have a muffin top in them. But not enough to stop me from wearing them. Only because all my other pants were dirty....due to work situations...
3. I'm slowly finding new recipes that I've been enjoying eating. As well as introducing more fruits into my eating habits. YAAAAY. I still don't like fruit, though...
4. Though I haven't given up my chocolate, I'm finding that I don't really crave it all that much anymore. I instead crave matzo w/ peanut butter and honey, or matzo w/ pb alternative....made from cookies...that is addicting...and yummy...and only 86 calories... :)
5. I haven't given up. Despite the intense desire to quit, I haven't given up.
6. I can now wear a Large in shirts from Old Navy. NOT an XXL. :) This. This made me happy!!!
7. When I did my run/walk intervals at the park, I went 2.12 miles in 36 minutes. I've never gone that far before!! Or that fast, that far! :)
8. I signed up for the Biggest Loser Obstacle Course Challenge. And whether anyone else goes w/ me or not, I'm going. I don't care if it's by myself. Some days, I kind of hope it is. Why? So I can prove to myself just how far I've come. I need this motivation so badly right now.
9. I no longer keep sweets in the house. As a matter of fact, I've stopped buying them, period. So my chocolate stash stays at work. And I now log EVERY PIECE OF CHOCOLATE that enters my mouth.
10. I've stopped shopping in the inner aisles of the grocery store for most of my things. I now try and stick to the outside aisles unless absolutely necessary. It's taken me almost a year to get to this point! AND I stuck to my budget!! :)
With all of that being said, that does make me feel a bit better to see and read all of that.
No pictures this month. I took them, but I really don't want to post them this time. They're just sad...so maybe next month.
Peace out.
