1. I need people. Being by myself------->BAAAAAAADDDDD lol I tend to go stir crazy after 2 days. Which means that, more than likely, I will always be living with a roommate in one form or fashion. Even if I don't always talk w/ them, it helps me know that I'm not by myself, going mad crazy. :)
2. Doggy breath stinks, no matter how dentally hygenic their treats/food are. There, I said it. Breath stinks.
3. As much as I love dogs...doggy licks are totally gross. Especially when the dog tries to lick you in odd places...like your thigh. Or elbow.-------->totally disgusted by this odd trait.
4. Upstairs...2nd story...not so much.-------->I have come to the realization that I am a lazybones and would prefer not to have to go constantly up the stairs, no matter the great workout. If I want a workout, I'll actually workout. Not try to live in a home that MAKES me workout automatically.
5. The bigger the coffee machine, the happier I am.------>suck it up to say that I love big gadgets. Especially when I can mess around with the settings, put the cup, and voila out comes coffee!! yay!!!!!!!
6. Bold coffee------->I have apparently grown chest hair now that I've been drinking extra bold coffee for 2 weeks straight. Yes, that's right. I'm a wimp. Gimme limp coffee w/ lots of sugar every time.
7. Big TVs mean nothing to me.------>yes, for those who are tech savvy, I frankly have found that I really don't care how big the TV is. If there's nothing on that's worth watching, it's just a big TV that sits there and looks pretty.
8. I could live w/ a pool as long as I didn't have to do the upkeep.------> my muscles have grown bigger just by dragging the little netty thing catching all the debris in the pool. It's much easier to watch the pool guy do the work rather than me doing it. It all goes back to being a lazy bum.
9. Music makes my world go round.----->see stir-crazyness number 1. Sound. Lots of sound.
10. Seeing other people's things makes me tend to want them.------->then I remember that I shouldn't covet, but instead, be thankful. Thus, enjoying my 2 week stay in my dream home. This has made me happy. :)
With that being said, I shall enjoy my last few hours here. Including cleaning the dream house areas I've used, playing with the dogs, and hoping there's something good on the big TV. Byeeeeee dream home!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Happy happy joy joy
hahahahahahahahhaha
Woke up this morning. Laid in bed for awhile. Sat, prayed. Got up. Read a bit. Then came down, watered the garden, talked to the plants, spoke that they live and not die on me...played with the dogs.
Then, came inside, and had this GREAT idea. Let's put on GodTV, cook breakfast, eat, and soak in His presence all at the same time. Did great, actually. Until I was done eating. Then the worship leader began playing "happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy" for 10 plus minutes straigtht. At which point I just gave up and started dancing and laughing in the Lord. (I only dance when no one can see. lol)
So much joy. And one thing that is being spoken over..."stop trying to be who's who, but instead be you, you. He loves me like I am. He loves me like I am..." and the worship leader's speaking about how so many times we want to be in the who's who in the Christian world, be the next Benny Hinn, the next "big thing", the next great worship leader, Hillsong, song writer, whatever. And we don't allow ourselves to be who WE are, but instead who we think we SHOULD be...trying to impress others, impress people, impress ministries, ministers...
So this morning, I told the Lord, as Rick Pino was singing this song...I told the Lord that I want to be who HE has made me to be. He loves my style, my taste of clothes, He loves my hair, He loves my personality...NOT my sin!! I want to worship in truth, so I want to come to the Lord with EVERYTHING I am...to pour out my guts to the Lord, even the silliness that's me, the seriousness, my personality, my quirks. HE LOVES MY SENSE OF HUMOR!! haha I want to set people free...and the only way I can do that is to minister to them in TRUTH because it's the truth that sets people free. And that means allowing myself to be transparent, who I am, who He's made me to be.
And I realized that the Lord has been breaking off some serious strongholds in my life in that arena...without me knowing/realizing that those strongholds are being broken. It's been utterly amazing. To walk in a place and say, Lord, I want to be me. Not who people expect me to be. But I want to be ME, and who YOU'VE made me to be.
Yeah, I realize this is a lot of "word vomit".Ask me if I care. This is my blog I can do what I want. I want to share what's been going on in my heart.
So, yeah. Lots of stuff. And the really cool part...is that as I was dancing around, jumping, skipping...the dogs started barking and looking around them, going nuts. And I got to see some really cool stuff. :)
Hope, my dear reader(s), that this encourages you to be who you are in Him, not who others think you should be, but instead, who He has created you to be. :)
Woke up this morning. Laid in bed for awhile. Sat, prayed. Got up. Read a bit. Then came down, watered the garden, talked to the plants, spoke that they live and not die on me...played with the dogs.
Then, came inside, and had this GREAT idea. Let's put on GodTV, cook breakfast, eat, and soak in His presence all at the same time. Did great, actually. Until I was done eating. Then the worship leader began playing "happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy" for 10 plus minutes straigtht. At which point I just gave up and started dancing and laughing in the Lord. (I only dance when no one can see. lol)
So much joy. And one thing that is being spoken over..."stop trying to be who's who, but instead be you, you. He loves me like I am. He loves me like I am..." and the worship leader's speaking about how so many times we want to be in the who's who in the Christian world, be the next Benny Hinn, the next "big thing", the next great worship leader, Hillsong, song writer, whatever. And we don't allow ourselves to be who WE are, but instead who we think we SHOULD be...trying to impress others, impress people, impress ministries, ministers...
So this morning, I told the Lord, as Rick Pino was singing this song...I told the Lord that I want to be who HE has made me to be. He loves my style, my taste of clothes, He loves my hair, He loves my personality...NOT my sin!! I want to worship in truth, so I want to come to the Lord with EVERYTHING I am...to pour out my guts to the Lord, even the silliness that's me, the seriousness, my personality, my quirks. HE LOVES MY SENSE OF HUMOR!! haha I want to set people free...and the only way I can do that is to minister to them in TRUTH because it's the truth that sets people free. And that means allowing myself to be transparent, who I am, who He's made me to be.
And I realized that the Lord has been breaking off some serious strongholds in my life in that arena...without me knowing/realizing that those strongholds are being broken. It's been utterly amazing. To walk in a place and say, Lord, I want to be me. Not who people expect me to be. But I want to be ME, and who YOU'VE made me to be.
Yeah, I realize this is a lot of "word vomit".
So, yeah. Lots of stuff. And the really cool part...is that as I was dancing around, jumping, skipping...the dogs started barking and looking around them, going nuts. And I got to see some really cool stuff. :)
Hope, my dear reader(s), that this encourages you to be who you are in Him, not who others think you should be, but instead, who He has created you to be. :)
Monday, July 25, 2011
He's so good to me, nah nah nah nah
Haha Yes, I've had that song stuck in my head for awhile. Probably because I've spent 2 of the most amazing weeks in a beautiful house, sitting by a beautiful pool every day. And that pool has an attached mini stair waterfall. And a peaceful saltwater aquarium. And a cook's dream kitchen. Did I mention the music room, home gym, and home theater room? It's amazing.
Did I also mention that He's given me 3 weeks of rest, with another 2 coming? That He has provided for me, loved on me, and been showing me things in my heart, both good and bad?
Did I mention that He's given me 3 weeks of soaking in His presence, basking in His love, doing battle on behalf of others & showing me even more His absolute, utter, astounding love for me?
This has been my vacation. This has been one of the most relaxing, peaceful, serene times in my life. Focusing on Him, His majesty, His goodness, His glory. Seeking His presence, living in His power, His purpose and His love. Showing others the goodness of God. Striving to live a life that is filled with His glory, holiness and fire. And pursuing a passionate God.
This has been my summer. This has been the year of freedom. This has been the year that I have staked the banner and said, I am free. Good God Almighty, I am free.
And this has been the year that I've battled, surrendered, battled, let go, and allowed Him to work, move and flow in and through me.
All I have to say...is more, Lord, more.
All I know is...I want to love Him even more. I want Him to ravish my heart. To show me every corner. To live in His palace, His kingdom. To bring heaven to earth. To show the world His fire, His love, His grace, His mercy and His peace.
All I know...is that this life has become naturally supernatural (as the papa says).
Praise the Lord. :)
Did I also mention that He's given me 3 weeks of rest, with another 2 coming? That He has provided for me, loved on me, and been showing me things in my heart, both good and bad?
Did I mention that He's given me 3 weeks of soaking in His presence, basking in His love, doing battle on behalf of others & showing me even more His absolute, utter, astounding love for me?
This has been my vacation. This has been one of the most relaxing, peaceful, serene times in my life. Focusing on Him, His majesty, His goodness, His glory. Seeking His presence, living in His power, His purpose and His love. Showing others the goodness of God. Striving to live a life that is filled with His glory, holiness and fire. And pursuing a passionate God.
This has been my summer. This has been the year of freedom. This has been the year that I have staked the banner and said, I am free. Good God Almighty, I am free.
And this has been the year that I've battled, surrendered, battled, let go, and allowed Him to work, move and flow in and through me.
All I have to say...is more, Lord, more.
All I know is...I want to love Him even more. I want Him to ravish my heart. To show me every corner. To live in His palace, His kingdom. To bring heaven to earth. To show the world His fire, His love, His grace, His mercy and His peace.
All I know...is that this life has become naturally supernatural (as the papa says).
Praise the Lord. :)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
1/2
Of the Lord.
All that to say...
I'm gaining more wisdom out of this vacation than I realized. As the chick Erica
All that to say...
I'm gaining more wisdom out of this vacation than I realized. As the chick Erica
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sometimes I wish...
You know, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish you would realize what you're saying. And how it's coming it. Sometimes, I wish you'd understand that you could have said no, too, instead of just agreeing for agreeing sake. Sometimes, I wish you'd not take your bad mood out on others, and that you'd stop making comments that seem to me passive aggressive.
Just because we're different, and we do things differently, doesn't mean that I'm wrong, or that you're wrong. It just means we're different, and sometimes I really wish you'd be okay with that. Sometimes, I wish you would stop acting as if my differences are beneath you, just because I do things differently, make decisions differently, follow my heart differently.
If you're upset with me, or angry with me, I wish you would just come out and say it. I hate feeling like, after your bad mood, you have decided to see me and vomit on me. This is why I tend to stay away, far far far far far far away, from you sometimes. I'd rather not be made to feel like I've done something wrong, like a child. Because that's the way you treat me. I'm not like the others you severely dislike. Instead, I'm me. Accept me for me. Why does it seem like you only accept the good parts of me when needed, or when it suits you, but then when I show weakness, or struggle, or differences, you turn away. Especially when I do things differently than you.
I don't want to be part of this anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore. Everything in me wants to push you away, and to just let you be. I'm trying really hard, at moments, to not put up blocks and walls around my heart. But you don't always make it easy.
All that to say, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish things could be different between us. I wish you could understand that I don't want to be you, I want to be me. I wish you could understand that neither of us are right or wrong, but instead, we need each other, and that the more and harder you push, the more I want to give up on you, turn away, and let you be. I wish you could understand that my priorities and visions are different than yours, and be okay with that, be accepting of that. Instead, sometimes you treat those things as if they're beneath you, or they don't matter, and that translates to I don't matter. I wish you could see how much that hurts. How much my heart grieves to hear that. And how much I want to wrap my heart back into it's little corner. And to runaway from you.
I wish you could see all that.
But in your brokenness, you can't. In your hurt, your tiredness, your barrenness, you can't see past the pain, the hurt, the heartache.
And my heart grieves for you. My spirit grieves for you. And my prayer is, is that you begin to rise up, heal, take your place in this world, and see for yourself what a magnificent creation He has made each one of us, despite faults, dents, viewpoints, opinions and differences.
Jesus loves you more than I, and for that, I praise Him. Because that means I'm learning to love you the way He does.
Just because we're different, and we do things differently, doesn't mean that I'm wrong, or that you're wrong. It just means we're different, and sometimes I really wish you'd be okay with that. Sometimes, I wish you would stop acting as if my differences are beneath you, just because I do things differently, make decisions differently, follow my heart differently.
If you're upset with me, or angry with me, I wish you would just come out and say it. I hate feeling like, after your bad mood, you have decided to see me and vomit on me. This is why I tend to stay away, far far far far far far away, from you sometimes. I'd rather not be made to feel like I've done something wrong, like a child. Because that's the way you treat me. I'm not like the others you severely dislike. Instead, I'm me. Accept me for me. Why does it seem like you only accept the good parts of me when needed, or when it suits you, but then when I show weakness, or struggle, or differences, you turn away. Especially when I do things differently than you.
I don't want to be part of this anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore. Everything in me wants to push you away, and to just let you be. I'm trying really hard, at moments, to not put up blocks and walls around my heart. But you don't always make it easy.
All that to say, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish things could be different between us. I wish you could understand that I don't want to be you, I want to be me. I wish you could understand that neither of us are right or wrong, but instead, we need each other, and that the more and harder you push, the more I want to give up on you, turn away, and let you be. I wish you could understand that my priorities and visions are different than yours, and be okay with that, be accepting of that. Instead, sometimes you treat those things as if they're beneath you, or they don't matter, and that translates to I don't matter. I wish you could see how much that hurts. How much my heart grieves to hear that. And how much I want to wrap my heart back into it's little corner. And to runaway from you.
I wish you could see all that.
But in your brokenness, you can't. In your hurt, your tiredness, your barrenness, you can't see past the pain, the hurt, the heartache.
And my heart grieves for you. My spirit grieves for you. And my prayer is, is that you begin to rise up, heal, take your place in this world, and see for yourself what a magnificent creation He has made each one of us, despite faults, dents, viewpoints, opinions and differences.
Jesus loves you more than I, and for that, I praise Him. Because that means I'm learning to love you the way He does.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Blegh
I know...weird, coming from me, right?
But I have to admit...the past couple of days have been rough. Why? I'm not too sure. Sometimes intense battle. Sometimes being in my head too much. Sometimes worry and anxiety.
Today was one of those days...still is, to be honest. And trying very hard to battle, despite my feelings. And admittedly, I'd love to just run away, hide away, not be anywhere near anyone for awhile, but pretty sure God won't let me do that. *sigh*
Who knows? I guess all I really wanted to do is just word vomit here for a bit. Let everything out. Frustration, sadness, anger, doldrums...
Methinks that it will be time very soon to spend one-on-one away from people and technology, from demands, from the world. At times I feel horrendously guilty doing this, but I know that if I don't...well, I'll allow myself to become overused, which doesn't help anyone at all.
So all that to say...I'm looking forward to house-sitting again. And being away for awhile. Mayhaps even forget to turn on my cell phone for a day...or 3. And to just allow myself to sit, read, study, ponder, meditate and listen.
When all else fails, and I draw myself away to the mountain, this, like nothing else, works. Oh Lord Jesus, may Sunday night come soon enough to be drawn away with You.
But I have to admit...the past couple of days have been rough. Why? I'm not too sure. Sometimes intense battle. Sometimes being in my head too much. Sometimes worry and anxiety.
Today was one of those days...still is, to be honest. And trying very hard to battle, despite my feelings. And admittedly, I'd love to just run away, hide away, not be anywhere near anyone for awhile, but pretty sure God won't let me do that. *sigh*
Who knows? I guess all I really wanted to do is just word vomit here for a bit. Let everything out. Frustration, sadness, anger, doldrums...
Methinks that it will be time very soon to spend one-on-one away from people and technology, from demands, from the world. At times I feel horrendously guilty doing this, but I know that if I don't...well, I'll allow myself to become overused, which doesn't help anyone at all.
So all that to say...I'm looking forward to house-sitting again. And being away for awhile. Mayhaps even forget to turn on my cell phone for a day...or 3. And to just allow myself to sit, read, study, ponder, meditate and listen.
When all else fails, and I draw myself away to the mountain, this, like nothing else, works. Oh Lord Jesus, may Sunday night come soon enough to be drawn away with You.
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