A few people (cough cough...many people...cough cough) have been wanting to know the story of how my husband and I met. How we got together. The story of...uh...us. (Notice the title, anyone?? :) )
So, I thought what better way to go about this than on the www. lol No, seriously. It's easier to tell this story once, versus 30 times.In a row. To all different people. Who all want to know.
Here is the story of us. Which I'm kinda glad my hubby is off at church while I get ready for our photo shoot session. It gives me some time to think, reflect, and miss the heck outta this man. (Not to mention the unfairness of men only needing, like, 30 minutes to get ready and dressed. I need a good solid two hours, plus more if I'm gonna do fingers and toes.Like, seriously, who thought of these rules and standards for having to get this dolled up, and then making it to where it takes FOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR to do it?!?!....sorry.....end rant now....)
Okay, so, back to the story.
In March/April 2013, during my quiet time, I kept hearing the Lord tell me it was time to go back to the whole dating scene thing. And not just any dating scene. Back to....OMGAREYOUFORREAL?!...online dating. To which I told Him, in all quite frank honest, "Hell no." Just like that. No joke. (For those of you Christian people who would be shocked, I'm sorry. Please get over your shockiness. In my quiet time, it's no holds barred, flat out tell it like it is, whether it's joyful, fearful, happy or sad, the secret place is a place to get real. And if I'm to treat Him like my best friend, well, let's be honest. I've got a bit of the ghetto in me. *wink wink*) I then not only told Him no, I told Him no several times. I wasn't going to do it. Not after the fiasco of...um...the man who shall be left nameless. (Eric calls him the jerk.)
Here I am, in my room, and I hear Him tell me to try E-Harmony. Again, in my head, I'm also thinking, ummm...noooo.....I just...can't.... And then, I ignore that prompting, and live life onwards and upwards.
Fast forward to May/June 2013. I again hear the prompting of signing up for E-harmony. To which, after hearing it a bit more, uh, insistently, I tell the Lord... (yeah...I know...the audacity... But I am sooooo thankful that He meets us not only where we are at, but isn't easily offended at my, um, bumbling way of approaching things at times.)
Okay, so, I tell the Lord that in order for me to sign up for E-Harmony, a few things needs to happen:
1. I need to be able to afford it financially. (Which, at the time, I couldn't.)
2. Before I even subscribe, I wanted 3 men to send me icebreakers showing that there was at least SOME interest in me before I put myself out there to the world.
3. I wouldn't do it if the above 2 weren't completely met.
And then, He did the unthinkable....He whispered something in my ear that made my eyes go all big, my jaw drop, and my tummy get the butterflies. He whispered that this, was, it. To which my response was, "Um. No. It's not. I'll believe it when it happens." But in my heart, growing like a tiny little seedling, was that seed of faith that someone had planted so many years ago. The Word that I had gotten when I was 18 years old.
Well, I then go to the website, and I do the whole profile thing. And as I'm doing my profile, guess what pops up in a lovely, bright box but...."Get 3 months for the price of 1." No. Freaking. Joke. To which my eyes got real big like, and then I whispered, out loud, in a panic, "BUT YOU HAVEN'T MET THE OTHER REQUIREMENT YET!! THIS FAT LADY AIN'T SINGING YET!!!!!!!" (Yeah, not even my hubby knew that one. lol There are just some parts of my conversation I keep real quiet like about my quiet times. lol Probably because I really do tend to talk to Him like I talk to my best friends. Let's be honest, if I can't be real with my God, the One who created me, who can I really be real, honest and raw with?!)
So I wait. And within 2-3 days, I LITERALLY get three icebreakers sent my way. Yes, exactly, THREE. No more. No less. So I start looking at their profiles (mind you, I still haven't subscribed, because, well, I'm stubborn.), seeing if I like what's heading my way. I read the first one, and was, ehhhh.... I read the second one, and respond back. Or at least try to. But I can't. Because I haven't signed up yet. And then...(my hubby can tell you the exact date.) I read the 3rd one. And as I start reading through the profile, I let out a gasp. My heart leaps and jumps. And His still, small voice comes into play: "This is the one."
I read the profile a second time. A third. A fourth. Mind you, I haven't seen a picture of this man AT ALL. All I can judge him by is his words. And I'm liking what I'm reading. And my heart pounds. And I go to PB and tell her about this guy. And that....dare I say it....I'm signing up....for E-Harmony. AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Once I sign-up, I respond back to this "Eric" person.
And he responds. Sends me 3 multiple choice questions. I respond. He sends me his must haves/can't stands; I send mine. Then, he does the unthinkable...sends me 3 questions that I ONLY HAVE 1000 CHARACTER LIMITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For this talker, this is...TORTURE. I despise the system at this point. And it takes me THREE HOURS to condense my response to 1000 characters or less. Because, I am EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! I'm desperately trying not to get my hopes up, but I keep hearing His voice directing, guiding, leading.
I follow on.
The next step, after all of this, is email communication within the system. So it's still secure. No harm done. No personal info required. yaay
Well, we communicate and email, back and forth, for several days, multiple hours in a day. This man makes me laugh with his words. Makes me guess, think, question, look through scripture. And every day I feel myself falling a bit more. And I've only seen a few pictures of him. (Which, later on, realized that NONE of them did him justice, by the way. Sorry, honey.)
And then...he does the unthinkable... But only after I tell him that I'm meeting MC for coffee one night. He tells me HE wants to have coffee with ME. Say whaaattt?!?! He doesn't know this, but I had a mini-heart attack right there on the spot. OMGHEWANTSTOMEETMENOOOOOOOOOOOO. (Okay, so I realize that my self-image and self-confidence still needs quite a bit of work at times....)
My response: "I'd love to have coffee with you. Just let me know when and where." <---HA Further proof I can pretend I'm cool, calm & collected. :) man, I'm good!! lol
We make plans to meet at an IHOP near the two of us. And in between the times, we are texting back and forth. And he makes me laugh. Makes me think. And sends me scriptures.
We meet. We laugh. And we spend FIVE HOURS talking to each other on our "date". We go from IHOP to HEB, and all the way we are talking. And neither one of us wants to end it, but we have to, 'cause I have to be at workat the crack of freakin' dawn.
And...we're both comfortable.
So, we continue texting. And the more we get to know each other, the more that we are slowly tuned towards each other. (I hate the word falling in this aspect, but for lack of better terminology, this may be what you get for right now.) We talk about our beliefs, our values, morals...everything. Nothing is held back.
And a response of his that I still remember to this day, "Every objection I could possibly have, God has taken it in your life and showed His blessings and grace. It just makes you more and more desirable for courtship." OMG did my heart just go all googly-eyed on that one. (I am such a girly sap! lol)
You see, he had NO IDEA what the Word was that was given to me when I was 18. Some of you do. I've told you. I still have it written down. "The first man to ask to court you will be your husband." I've held on to that word for many, many years. And had slowly started to give up on it. Through tears, anger, rage, battles, and seasons of no romantic thoughts whatsoever; through being asked in the secret place if I was willing to give up any thought of marriage and remain single...this word was still there, just waiting, being planted, watered, growing, pruning.... What a faithful Abba Father I have.
And then fast forward, to one fateful evening, atREALLY LATE FOR THE BOTH OF US night. I had an anxiety attack. In the middle of my conversation, on the phone, with Eric. Over some outside circumstances that were happening that didn't involve me one iotta. And his response: you haven't eaten dinner; come over, meet at IHOP; let me buy you dinner; be safe.
I drive up to his apartment complex on my way to swing by and pick him up (hey...fair exchange for dinner and dealing with all the drama of me), and there is this knock on the window. I roll my window down, and he presents me with a single red rose and the following words: "I wanted to get you something to make you smile through the bad." And I desperately try to compose myself. Even now, tears are in my eyes and I try to be, uh, somewhat normal.... (as my husband says, it's allergies...)
My smile is a mile wide. This is the first time I've received flowers from a man. I...wow....just....I can't stop smiling.
We drive to IHOP. And he lets me talk. And talk. And talk. And because we have a certain rule between the two of us, he laid out a notebook, Bible and pen between the two of us. And we continue to talk. And read scripture to each other. And discuss scripture. And I begin to tell him bits and pieces of my testimony. Not everything. Just...the important parts to help him understand why my reaction was so horrific to this outside circumstance.
(Now, for this next part, you have to understand our rule of having no cell phones out while we are with each other. We only saw each other once a week, Sundays....so...we didn't want technology to interfere with our times together.)
Anywho...
He stops me, pulls out his phone, scrolls down and asks me to read something.
It was a text conversation between him and his best friend (well, one of them). It went something like this:
EF: Please pray. Alex is driving down. She's really upset about something, so I told her to come down, eat and talk it out.
RB: Okay. Will do. Praying for both of you.
EF: R____, I believe that I'm falling in love with this woman of God. (that sentence is NOT paraphrased) The more that we talk, God is showing me in every way just how amazing she is. The more I get to know her, the more that I love her. He keeps showing me His hand in this every step of the way. Through all of my objections, I keep seeing and hearing that she is the one that He has for me.
As soon as I read that first sentence, my hand goes up to my mouth, and I gasp. I start trembling. And shaking. And my eyes start filling up. And I look at him, and just look.
He puts his phone away againvery calmly I might add. And then says:
"Alex, I am falling in love with you. You are amazing. And the more that I know you, the more that I am falling in love with you. Will you give me permission to court you?"
To which I respond, with both hands to my mouth now, and nod repeatedly. And not stop smiling. He then goes, "So, is that a yes?"
I take my hands off my mouth and gasp out a pathetic yes. lol And I still can't stop smiling.
(Even now, typing this out, my eyes are once again filled with tears. And I can't stop smiling. And my heart is pounding. How I love this man so.)
I then go back home, and leave this message, written with sharpie, on a napkin, by the coffee machine where my roommate can read it, "He asked to court me tonight!" (or some version of that)
And thus began our courtship. In June. About 2-3 weeks after we were matched on E-Harmony.
We knew where this was heading. We acknowledged it. We told our accountability partners. And we continued to pray. And he would text me, "Good morning, beautiful." every morning. And he would call me on the weekends with, "Good morning, beautiful". And we chose to not kiss, or even hold hands. But to not allow the physical stuff to get in the way of getting to know each other. (Neither one of us wanted that temptation to be even more expounded and difficult.)
And then, July hit.
After discussing with the bro & sis, and after praying about it, I decided to ask for some days off and head up to NM w/ him to meet his two best friends getting married. (to each other, in case anyone needs clarification on that one...)
Our first road trip together, after only knowing each other for maybe 3 weeks. maybe a month.
Major discussion happened on that trip. A lot of tears. A lot of sharing. But also, a lot of laughs.
And a lot of being spoiled by this man. Who took me to the dinosaur museum. And bought me a project to do w/ my kiddos. And let me gasp and ohhh and ahhhh. And didn't mind that I let all of my science nerdiness out in full force, in public. And who actually joined in the nerdiness.
And we both realized....the beginning of the end....of our singleness season....
I loved his best friends. And miss them terribly as they live far away. But we knew that this courtship was heading into marriage. We just didn't know the timeline of it all. (By the way...during this trip was the first time that we held hands, if I remember correctly...)
So fast forward. July 2013. And just two months into our courtship, we finally decide to head to my church to check it out (my old church, that is...). We're in the parking lot outside the apartments, and I start dusting off his shirt due to cat hair or some such, and I tell him to turn around. And he says, hold on, as I'm trying to grab his shoulder to turn around...
And then he bends down on one knee, in a beautiful cool morning (okay, cool for Texas summers), with quiet all around, sunshine blazing, birds singing, and nobody at all around us), and asks, "Will you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming my wife?"
To which I respond, once again, with hands to mouth and nodding. LOL I am HORRIBLE at spontaneous reactions. LOLOLOL
I say yes, he puts on the ring, and I hug this man til I can't hug no more.
The ring is beautiful. And the only piece of jewelry that I wear, and miss, when it's not on my finger.
So, we begin planning for a December wedding. The day after I get out of work, actually. So that way I have Christmas break for our honeymoon, and I'm not having to worry about work, and he can take his vacation time, etc.
Anywho...
Fast forward. Add some drama to my life. And then a double dose of more drama. Now a triple dose.
And we pray. And seek counsel. And pray some more, together.
I don't want to wait. I'm ready. I don't want to deal w/ the stress of planning this wedding. (For stressed I most certainly am...just ask the three people who were helping me try to plan this wedding. Many, many tears were involved, and it was only in the beginning stages.) Not only that, but other things were going down in my life. And I didn't want to wait. I've waited so long for this man. I've waited 12 years for this man.
And, I realize. I'm ready. I...really....am....ready. I don't want the hype. The pomp. Or anything else. I want...quiet. And peace. And....to have time to enjoy.
So we decide to quietly elope. (What every woman thinks about, is what I've been told.) And we have a dear friend of his witness and lead us into this new season together. Eric, I and God. What I wanted to begin with. What I longed for with all of my heart.
And what most of you don't know, was that was two weeks before we did the courthouse proceedings. So, I've technically been married twice. :) lol FB only got to see those pics. :) And Eric and I now joke that I get more presents in the month of August: 2 anniversary dates, and my birthday. lol I really do like presents...and I love giving those random ones too!
So, that's the story of us.
How we met. Became in love. And married.
With no regrets. I love this man. I...can no longer imagine life without this man by my side. He supports me, strengthens me, encourages me, and holds me when I break down. He is gentle, kind, strong, weak (his reliance on the Lord...just...amazes this stubborn me so much). He is everything I have been praying for for so long.
And to think...
I almost gave in to the counterfeit. I almost settled with something that was so very less than the best He had for me.
Now that you know the story of us, if you want to come celebrate with us, let me know. We'd love to have you. We'd love for you to be a very special part of our very unique family.
Why?
Because He has placed me in a new family now. A family that I have longed for, prayed for. (omg I'm seriously crying buckets right now) He has taken what this orphan heart, and has filled it with so much joy, peace, happiness. He has made me new.
And as I sit and type this, with tears pouring down my face, and sobs chocking out my mouth, I cannot convey just how truly blessed I am. To have each and every one of my spiritual family to be a part of this. To realize just how each of you have encouraged me, and continue to do so. You all have been a part of this journey with me. You have seen me, watched me, helped mold and shape me, helped to grow me up and strengthen me. And I would never have been able to go on this journey of "us" if it wasn't for every single one of you.
And I am thankful and so very grateful to you. My heart is overflowing. For those near. And for those far away.
Every. single. one. of. you. played a part in this.
I cannot stress this enough.
And to my new family. The new ones that have taken me in as their own.
Paul. Rachel. Pops & Peg.
You all have no idea just how much you've filled the hole in my heart. (and yes, I'm sobbing once again.) A hole that so many didn't know was there. Except for the few I allowed in. How my heart has been crying out for family. For...something that has been so hard to explain.
To see so many around me, and yet to feel so far apart. To only realize now that I have a family who has taken me in. And encouraged. And...just....I so wish I could explain this better. But just know that you all have no idea just how much you mean to me.
And for those of you all who are my extended spiritual family, my real family in my eyes, who have stuck with me through so much...the counselling, the anger and rages, the going out to parks and beating trees up with measly sticks....who have sat at park benches in nasty humidity and let me talk and pour out my heart, who called me every holiday, or texted me, knowing that I hated holidays...to those of you who have witnessed my deliverance, my kicking the cocoon and emerging into this gorgeous butterfly, or flower if you hate butterflies....to those of you who have given me words, encouraged me, spoke your mind, and called me out on my crap....to those of you who have NEVER given up on me when so many times I gave up on myself...
Thank you.
It's because of you all that I'm sitting here, typing as my husband is at church, sitting here getting ready for our photo shoot session for our pictures.
It's because of you, your prayers, your words.
It's because of you that I waited. It's because of you that I didn't end my life during those very, very dark times when all I wanted was to commit suicide. It was because of you that I held on to the promises that were given to me. It was because of you that God showed me the meaning of what being in His family is. It was because of each one of you that I never lost hope, when everything around me seemed so hopeless. In the darkest of seasons, in the darkest of the storms, you never let me go; you held on; you hugged me; you let me cry on your shoulder; you cried with me, and mourned with me; you wiped the tears off my face and handed me tissues.
So.
Thank you.
I love you.
And I hope every single one of you will be able to come celebrate this thankful heart for all that you have done for me.
In Him,
Alex
So, I thought what better way to go about this than on the www. lol No, seriously. It's easier to tell this story once, versus 30 times.
Here is the story of us. Which I'm kinda glad my hubby is off at church while I get ready for our photo shoot session. It gives me some time to think, reflect, and miss the heck outta this man. (Not to mention the unfairness of men only needing, like, 30 minutes to get ready and dressed. I need a good solid two hours, plus more if I'm gonna do fingers and toes.
Okay, so, back to the story.
In March/April 2013, during my quiet time, I kept hearing the Lord tell me it was time to go back to the whole dating scene thing. And not just any dating scene. Back to....OMGAREYOUFORREAL?!...online dating. To which I told Him, in all quite frank honest, "Hell no." Just like that. No joke. (For those of you Christian people who would be shocked, I'm sorry. Please get over your shockiness. In my quiet time, it's no holds barred, flat out tell it like it is, whether it's joyful, fearful, happy or sad, the secret place is a place to get real. And if I'm to treat Him like my best friend, well, let's be honest. I've got a bit of the ghetto in me. *wink wink*) I then not only told Him no, I told Him no several times. I wasn't going to do it. Not after the fiasco of...um...the man who shall be left nameless. (Eric calls him the jerk.)
Here I am, in my room, and I hear Him tell me to try E-Harmony. Again, in my head, I'm also thinking, ummm...noooo.....I just...can't.... And then, I ignore that prompting, and live life onwards and upwards.
Fast forward to May/June 2013. I again hear the prompting of signing up for E-harmony. To which, after hearing it a bit more, uh, insistently, I tell the Lord... (yeah...I know...the audacity... But I am sooooo thankful that He meets us not only where we are at, but isn't easily offended at my, um, bumbling way of approaching things at times.)
Okay, so, I tell the Lord that in order for me to sign up for E-Harmony, a few things needs to happen:
1. I need to be able to afford it financially. (Which, at the time, I couldn't.)
2. Before I even subscribe, I wanted 3 men to send me icebreakers showing that there was at least SOME interest in me before I put myself out there to the world.
3. I wouldn't do it if the above 2 weren't completely met.
And then, He did the unthinkable....He whispered something in my ear that made my eyes go all big, my jaw drop, and my tummy get the butterflies. He whispered that this, was, it. To which my response was, "Um. No. It's not. I'll believe it when it happens." But in my heart, growing like a tiny little seedling, was that seed of faith that someone had planted so many years ago. The Word that I had gotten when I was 18 years old.
Well, I then go to the website, and I do the whole profile thing. And as I'm doing my profile, guess what pops up in a lovely, bright box but...."Get 3 months for the price of 1." No. Freaking. Joke. To which my eyes got real big like, and then I whispered, out loud, in a panic, "BUT YOU HAVEN'T MET THE OTHER REQUIREMENT YET!! THIS FAT LADY AIN'T SINGING YET!!!!!!!" (Yeah, not even my hubby knew that one. lol There are just some parts of my conversation I keep real quiet like about my quiet times. lol Probably because I really do tend to talk to Him like I talk to my best friends. Let's be honest, if I can't be real with my God, the One who created me, who can I really be real, honest and raw with?!)
So I wait. And within 2-3 days, I LITERALLY get three icebreakers sent my way. Yes, exactly, THREE. No more. No less. So I start looking at their profiles (mind you, I still haven't subscribed, because, well, I'm stubborn.), seeing if I like what's heading my way. I read the first one, and was, ehhhh.... I read the second one, and respond back. Or at least try to. But I can't. Because I haven't signed up yet. And then...(my hubby can tell you the exact date.) I read the 3rd one. And as I start reading through the profile, I let out a gasp. My heart leaps and jumps. And His still, small voice comes into play: "This is the one."
I read the profile a second time. A third. A fourth. Mind you, I haven't seen a picture of this man AT ALL. All I can judge him by is his words. And I'm liking what I'm reading. And my heart pounds. And I go to PB and tell her about this guy. And that....dare I say it....I'm signing up....for E-Harmony. AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Once I sign-up, I respond back to this "Eric" person.
And he responds. Sends me 3 multiple choice questions. I respond. He sends me his must haves/can't stands; I send mine. Then, he does the unthinkable...sends me 3 questions that I ONLY HAVE 1000 CHARACTER LIMITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For this talker, this is...TORTURE. I despise the system at this point. And it takes me THREE HOURS to condense my response to 1000 characters or less. Because, I am EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! I'm desperately trying not to get my hopes up, but I keep hearing His voice directing, guiding, leading.
I follow on.
The next step, after all of this, is email communication within the system. So it's still secure. No harm done. No personal info required. yaay
Well, we communicate and email, back and forth, for several days, multiple hours in a day. This man makes me laugh with his words. Makes me guess, think, question, look through scripture. And every day I feel myself falling a bit more. And I've only seen a few pictures of him. (Which, later on, realized that NONE of them did him justice, by the way. Sorry, honey.)
And then...he does the unthinkable... But only after I tell him that I'm meeting MC for coffee one night. He tells me HE wants to have coffee with ME. Say whaaattt?!?! He doesn't know this, but I had a mini-heart attack right there on the spot. OMGHEWANTSTOMEETMENOOOOOOOOOOOO. (Okay, so I realize that my self-image and self-confidence still needs quite a bit of work at times....)
My response: "I'd love to have coffee with you. Just let me know when and where." <---HA Further proof I can pretend I'm cool, calm & collected. :) man, I'm good!! lol
We make plans to meet at an IHOP near the two of us. And in between the times, we are texting back and forth. And he makes me laugh. Makes me think. And sends me scriptures.
We meet. We laugh. And we spend FIVE HOURS talking to each other on our "date". We go from IHOP to HEB, and all the way we are talking. And neither one of us wants to end it, but we have to, 'cause I have to be at work
And...we're both comfortable.
So, we continue texting. And the more we get to know each other, the more that we are slowly tuned towards each other. (I hate the word falling in this aspect, but for lack of better terminology, this may be what you get for right now.) We talk about our beliefs, our values, morals...everything. Nothing is held back.
And a response of his that I still remember to this day, "Every objection I could possibly have, God has taken it in your life and showed His blessings and grace. It just makes you more and more desirable for courtship." OMG did my heart just go all googly-eyed on that one. (I am such a girly sap! lol)
You see, he had NO IDEA what the Word was that was given to me when I was 18. Some of you do. I've told you. I still have it written down. "The first man to ask to court you will be your husband." I've held on to that word for many, many years. And had slowly started to give up on it. Through tears, anger, rage, battles, and seasons of no romantic thoughts whatsoever; through being asked in the secret place if I was willing to give up any thought of marriage and remain single...this word was still there, just waiting, being planted, watered, growing, pruning.... What a faithful Abba Father I have.
And then fast forward, to one fateful evening, at
I drive up to his apartment complex on my way to swing by and pick him up (hey...fair exchange for dinner and dealing with all the drama of me), and there is this knock on the window. I roll my window down, and he presents me with a single red rose and the following words: "I wanted to get you something to make you smile through the bad." And I desperately try to compose myself. Even now, tears are in my eyes and I try to be, uh, somewhat normal.... (as my husband says, it's allergies...)
My smile is a mile wide. This is the first time I've received flowers from a man. I...wow....just....I can't stop smiling.
We drive to IHOP. And he lets me talk. And talk. And talk. And because we have a certain rule between the two of us, he laid out a notebook, Bible and pen between the two of us. And we continue to talk. And read scripture to each other. And discuss scripture. And I begin to tell him bits and pieces of my testimony. Not everything. Just...the important parts to help him understand why my reaction was so horrific to this outside circumstance.
(Now, for this next part, you have to understand our rule of having no cell phones out while we are with each other. We only saw each other once a week, Sundays....so...we didn't want technology to interfere with our times together.)
Anywho...
He stops me, pulls out his phone, scrolls down and asks me to read something.
It was a text conversation between him and his best friend (well, one of them). It went something like this:
EF: Please pray. Alex is driving down. She's really upset about something, so I told her to come down, eat and talk it out.
RB: Okay. Will do. Praying for both of you.
EF: R____, I believe that I'm falling in love with this woman of God. (that sentence is NOT paraphrased) The more that we talk, God is showing me in every way just how amazing she is. The more I get to know her, the more that I love her. He keeps showing me His hand in this every step of the way. Through all of my objections, I keep seeing and hearing that she is the one that He has for me.
As soon as I read that first sentence, my hand goes up to my mouth, and I gasp. I start trembling. And shaking. And my eyes start filling up. And I look at him, and just look.
He puts his phone away again
"Alex, I am falling in love with you. You are amazing. And the more that I know you, the more that I am falling in love with you. Will you give me permission to court you?"
To which I respond, with both hands to my mouth now, and nod repeatedly. And not stop smiling. He then goes, "So, is that a yes?"
I take my hands off my mouth and gasp out a pathetic yes. lol And I still can't stop smiling.
(Even now, typing this out, my eyes are once again filled with tears. And I can't stop smiling. And my heart is pounding. How I love this man so.)
I then go back home, and leave this message, written with sharpie, on a napkin, by the coffee machine where my roommate can read it, "He asked to court me tonight!" (or some version of that)
And thus began our courtship. In June. About 2-3 weeks after we were matched on E-Harmony.
We knew where this was heading. We acknowledged it. We told our accountability partners. And we continued to pray. And he would text me, "Good morning, beautiful." every morning. And he would call me on the weekends with, "Good morning, beautiful". And we chose to not kiss, or even hold hands. But to not allow the physical stuff to get in the way of getting to know each other. (Neither one of us wanted that temptation to be even more expounded and difficult.)
And then, July hit.
After discussing with the bro & sis, and after praying about it, I decided to ask for some days off and head up to NM w/ him to meet his two best friends getting married. (to each other, in case anyone needs clarification on that one...)
Our first road trip together, after only knowing each other for maybe 3 weeks. maybe a month.
Major discussion happened on that trip. A lot of tears. A lot of sharing. But also, a lot of laughs.
And a lot of being spoiled by this man. Who took me to the dinosaur museum. And bought me a project to do w/ my kiddos. And let me gasp and ohhh and ahhhh. And didn't mind that I let all of my science nerdiness out in full force, in public. And who actually joined in the nerdiness.
And we both realized....the beginning of the end....of our singleness season....
I loved his best friends. And miss them terribly as they live far away. But we knew that this courtship was heading into marriage. We just didn't know the timeline of it all. (By the way...during this trip was the first time that we held hands, if I remember correctly...)
So fast forward. July 2013. And just two months into our courtship, we finally decide to head to my church to check it out (my old church, that is...). We're in the parking lot outside the apartments, and I start dusting off his shirt due to cat hair or some such, and I tell him to turn around. And he says, hold on, as I'm trying to grab his shoulder to turn around...
And then he bends down on one knee, in a beautiful cool morning (okay, cool for Texas summers), with quiet all around, sunshine blazing, birds singing, and nobody at all around us), and asks, "Will you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming my wife?"
To which I respond, once again, with hands to mouth and nodding. LOL I am HORRIBLE at spontaneous reactions. LOLOLOL
I say yes, he puts on the ring, and I hug this man til I can't hug no more.
The ring is beautiful. And the only piece of jewelry that I wear, and miss, when it's not on my finger.
So, we begin planning for a December wedding. The day after I get out of work, actually. So that way I have Christmas break for our honeymoon, and I'm not having to worry about work, and he can take his vacation time, etc.
Anywho...
Fast forward. Add some drama to my life. And then a double dose of more drama. Now a triple dose.
And we pray. And seek counsel. And pray some more, together.
I don't want to wait. I'm ready. I don't want to deal w/ the stress of planning this wedding. (For stressed I most certainly am...just ask the three people who were helping me try to plan this wedding. Many, many tears were involved, and it was only in the beginning stages.) Not only that, but other things were going down in my life. And I didn't want to wait. I've waited so long for this man. I've waited 12 years for this man.
And, I realize. I'm ready. I...really....am....ready. I don't want the hype. The pomp. Or anything else. I want...quiet. And peace. And....to have time to enjoy.
So we decide to quietly elope. (What every woman thinks about, is what I've been told.) And we have a dear friend of his witness and lead us into this new season together. Eric, I and God. What I wanted to begin with. What I longed for with all of my heart.
And what most of you don't know, was that was two weeks before we did the courthouse proceedings. So, I've technically been married twice. :) lol FB only got to see those pics. :) And Eric and I now joke that I get more presents in the month of August: 2 anniversary dates, and my birthday. lol I really do like presents...and I love giving those random ones too!
So, that's the story of us.
How we met. Became in love. And married.
With no regrets. I love this man. I...can no longer imagine life without this man by my side. He supports me, strengthens me, encourages me, and holds me when I break down. He is gentle, kind, strong, weak (his reliance on the Lord...just...amazes this stubborn me so much). He is everything I have been praying for for so long.
And to think...
I almost gave in to the counterfeit. I almost settled with something that was so very less than the best He had for me.
Now that you know the story of us, if you want to come celebrate with us, let me know. We'd love to have you. We'd love for you to be a very special part of our very unique family.
Why?
Because He has placed me in a new family now. A family that I have longed for, prayed for. (omg I'm seriously crying buckets right now) He has taken what this orphan heart, and has filled it with so much joy, peace, happiness. He has made me new.
And as I sit and type this, with tears pouring down my face, and sobs chocking out my mouth, I cannot convey just how truly blessed I am. To have each and every one of my spiritual family to be a part of this. To realize just how each of you have encouraged me, and continue to do so. You all have been a part of this journey with me. You have seen me, watched me, helped mold and shape me, helped to grow me up and strengthen me. And I would never have been able to go on this journey of "us" if it wasn't for every single one of you.
And I am thankful and so very grateful to you. My heart is overflowing. For those near. And for those far away.
Every. single. one. of. you. played a part in this.
I cannot stress this enough.
And to my new family. The new ones that have taken me in as their own.
Paul. Rachel. Pops & Peg.
You all have no idea just how much you've filled the hole in my heart. (and yes, I'm sobbing once again.) A hole that so many didn't know was there. Except for the few I allowed in. How my heart has been crying out for family. For...something that has been so hard to explain.
To see so many around me, and yet to feel so far apart. To only realize now that I have a family who has taken me in. And encouraged. And...just....I so wish I could explain this better. But just know that you all have no idea just how much you mean to me.
And for those of you all who are my extended spiritual family, my real family in my eyes, who have stuck with me through so much...the counselling, the anger and rages, the going out to parks and beating trees up with measly sticks....who have sat at park benches in nasty humidity and let me talk and pour out my heart, who called me every holiday, or texted me, knowing that I hated holidays...to those of you who have witnessed my deliverance, my kicking the cocoon and emerging into this gorgeous butterfly, or flower if you hate butterflies....to those of you who have given me words, encouraged me, spoke your mind, and called me out on my crap....to those of you who have NEVER given up on me when so many times I gave up on myself...
Thank you.
It's because of you all that I'm sitting here, typing as my husband is at church, sitting here getting ready for our photo shoot session for our pictures.
It's because of you, your prayers, your words.
It's because of you that I waited. It's because of you that I didn't end my life during those very, very dark times when all I wanted was to commit suicide. It was because of you that I held on to the promises that were given to me. It was because of you that God showed me the meaning of what being in His family is. It was because of each one of you that I never lost hope, when everything around me seemed so hopeless. In the darkest of seasons, in the darkest of the storms, you never let me go; you held on; you hugged me; you let me cry on your shoulder; you cried with me, and mourned with me; you wiped the tears off my face and handed me tissues.
So.
Thank you.
I love you.
And I hope every single one of you will be able to come celebrate this thankful heart for all that you have done for me.
In Him,
Alex
