It's been awhile since I've last posted. My previous one was most definitely a rant that I kept to myself. :)
Anywho....
I can't believe it's been 10 months since Eric and I got married. We were talking earlier this weekend, and we both agree--it feels like it's been so much longer, but in such a good way. I love my husband. The man who cooked me breakfast and added extra turkey bacon 'cause I wanted. He made the coffee for me, and he let me sleep in knowing just how tired I was.
The same man who's shampooing our bedroom carpet right now as we had a mini-flood happen on our floor.
The same man who gives me hugs when I asks, does GREAT back and feet massages, and who loves me unconditionally through the worst of my more dramatic moments.
All that to say....
It seems lately God has been hammering a singular theme into my life this past month. "One minute at a time; one moment; one day." Basically, it's all about the baby steps. Sometimes I expect so much more out of myself than anyone else. I put all of this added stress to try to get thingsperfect "just right". And I have allowed myself to forget that it's okay to breathe in those little moments. It's okay that not everything gets done all at once because I said so in one day. I have had to admit, multiple times, that I am not superwoman. I've tried to be. Ask my hubby and staff.
I've tried to get everything perfect, lined up, ducks in a row. I've tried to present thatfacade everything is okay, I can handle this attitude. When, clearly, I can't. From stress at work (deadlines, deadlines, deadlines, deadlines, staff, deadlines, children, deadlines, deadlines, etc.) to stress at trying to maintain a home to "perfect" standards...
I'm sitting here with maybe 8 hours sleep under my belt this entire week. And I'm thinking...I can't do this.
My thought process on this isn't real.
Something has to change.
So, I grab my 2nd cup of coffee, and I sit, and I write. Only to realize....you know what, if it's not immaculately clean...it will be okay.
The chore chart has helped SOOOOO MUCH!!!! It's allowed my life at home to be a bit more manageable, and less likely for me to pull my hair out every time I see something that needs to be done.
In essence, because we've broken up everything that needs to get done around the house between Eric and I, and between 6 days of the week....maintaining the house has been easier. Keeping things CLEANER (I can't say it's completely clean) has been easier too.
What's the point of all this, you ask?
No matter what journey you are on, stop beating yourself up. Stop expecting perfectionism. Stop expecting others to be perfect. Stop setting expectations of things so high, that you don't realize that you need to come down to Earth just a wee bit. (Not saying lower them....just be REALISTIC with them.) Let that Holy Spirit voice that we tend to push to the background have a bit louder of a say so. Listen to the way you talk to yourself...if all you can do is put yourself down because of your imperfections, maybe it's time to realize that those same imperfections are what make you unique.
Above anything else, forgive yourself for feeling like you should be doing it all. Because you can't. No one can. Not really.
And it's okay to admit that. It's okay to admit that you need help, accountability and friendship along the way. It's okay to fall off the wagon. Just make sure you get back up and try it again. And again. And again. Don't beat yourself up over falling. Beat yourself up for not picking yourself back up again. Or for giving up.
Anywho....that's all for now. Just some thoughts as the shampoo thingy is running, the coffee is in my hand, and the pressure canner is slowly winding down. :)
-af
Anywho....
I can't believe it's been 10 months since Eric and I got married. We were talking earlier this weekend, and we both agree--it feels like it's been so much longer, but in such a good way. I love my husband. The man who cooked me breakfast and added extra turkey bacon 'cause I wanted. He made the coffee for me, and he let me sleep in knowing just how tired I was.
The same man who's shampooing our bedroom carpet right now as we had a mini-flood happen on our floor.
The same man who gives me hugs when I asks, does GREAT back and feet massages, and who loves me unconditionally through the worst of my more dramatic moments.
All that to say....
It seems lately God has been hammering a singular theme into my life this past month. "One minute at a time; one moment; one day." Basically, it's all about the baby steps. Sometimes I expect so much more out of myself than anyone else. I put all of this added stress to try to get things
I've tried to get everything perfect, lined up, ducks in a row. I've tried to present that
I'm sitting here with maybe 8 hours sleep under my belt this entire week. And I'm thinking...I can't do this.
My thought process on this isn't real.
Something has to change.
So, I grab my 2nd cup of coffee, and I sit, and I write. Only to realize....you know what, if it's not immaculately clean...it will be okay.
The chore chart has helped SOOOOO MUCH!!!! It's allowed my life at home to be a bit more manageable, and less likely for me to pull my hair out every time I see something that needs to be done.
In essence, because we've broken up everything that needs to get done around the house between Eric and I, and between 6 days of the week....maintaining the house has been easier. Keeping things CLEANER (I can't say it's completely clean) has been easier too.
What's the point of all this, you ask?
No matter what journey you are on, stop beating yourself up. Stop expecting perfectionism. Stop expecting others to be perfect. Stop setting expectations of things so high, that you don't realize that you need to come down to Earth just a wee bit. (Not saying lower them....just be REALISTIC with them.) Let that Holy Spirit voice that we tend to push to the background have a bit louder of a say so. Listen to the way you talk to yourself...if all you can do is put yourself down because of your imperfections, maybe it's time to realize that those same imperfections are what make you unique.
Above anything else, forgive yourself for feeling like you should be doing it all. Because you can't. No one can. Not really.
And it's okay to admit that. It's okay to admit that you need help, accountability and friendship along the way. It's okay to fall off the wagon. Just make sure you get back up and try it again. And again. And again. Don't beat yourself up over falling. Beat yourself up for not picking yourself back up again. Or for giving up.
Anywho....that's all for now. Just some thoughts as the shampoo thingy is running, the coffee is in my hand, and the pressure canner is slowly winding down. :)
-af
