Workout #2-January 10, 2012

Today's measurements (in inches):
Abs: 51
Waist: 45
Chest: 45 3/4
Hips: 54
Thigh: 31.5
Arm: 13.75

Weigh-in: 270.0  (woohoo I maintained and dropped .6lbs of the holiday fat! lol)

Cardio
remains the same
5-6x per week
Step up the walk...get my 1 mile under 20 minutes
Continue interval walk/jog

Strength Training in this order (per the amazing Debbie G.):
1. Ball squats w/ shoulder press, 5lb weights in each hand, 12-15 reps
2. Inch worms, 10-15 reps
3. Side lunge crossover with a knee lift, 12-15 reps
4. Push-ups on ball, 10-15 reps
5. Abs on ball (crunches), 15-20 reps
6. 1-legged 1-arm row w/ 10lbs in each hand, 10-15 reps
7. table top curls w/ band, 12-15 reps
8. Tricep dips, sit halfway on hands then start, 12-15 reps

Do every other day, 3 sets of each

Ab Days:
-Plank on ball (1 minute goal)
-Ball crunches
-Bridges
-Russian twist w/ 5lb weight in hand

3 sets of 15-20 reps

Challenges:
-Push-ups on ball: walk out on knees (move ball downwards on legs)
-Row: from 1 hand gripping the chair, to finger tips touching the chair frame, to no hands on the chair
-Russian twist: feet elevated

Once again, thanks to the AMAZING Debbie G! :)  Can't wait til she kicks my butt the next time!  And I miss it...this is getting way too easy to do now! haha

Workout #1--Dec 27, 2011-Jan 9, 2012

Cardio: 5-6 times per week.  Can walk, zumba, etc.

Stability Ball:
-Bridges
-Crunches
These can be done on a daily basis.

Resistance Bands:
-Biceps
-Triceps
-Wood chops
-Shoulder Press

Legs:
-chair squats

Ball, Bands & Legs: 2-3 sets, 10-12 repetitions, every other day

A big thanks to Debbie G for being willing to start training w/ me and giving me this workout! :)

December 27, 2011 weigh-in: 270.6

Break EVERY chain

This morning, I stuck the banner in the ground.  And started my day with this song:

Break Every Chain – Will Reagan and

the United Pursuit Band

C#m    A      E     B

There is power in the name of Jesus
There is power in the name of Jesus
There is power in the name of Jesus
To break every chain
To break every chain
To break every chain

All sufficient sacrifice
So freely given
Such a price bought
Our redemption
Heaven’s gates swing wide

There’s an army rising up
There’s an army rising up
There’s an army rising up
There’s an army rising up
To break every chain
To break every chain
To break every chain (4x)

There’s power in the Name of Jesus

Copyright © 2009 United Pursuit Records – words and music written by

Will Reagan

This journey into venturing into breaking the fear of men (not being able to talk w/ them, running, the inability to accept compliments, not seeing them as, well, humans, but something scary, like the scary monsters from your nightmares) has been a long 2 months.  I know, it's only been 2 months.  But last night, and this morning (mostly this morning), my battle cry rose up in me.

I was done with this!  DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!!  I DON'T WANT THIS ANYMORE!  BREAK EVERY CHAIN!  I AM SO ANGRY AT THE ENEMY!  I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!  For the first time, something rose up in me and said, "I refuse to accept this!!  I refuse to receive this!!  I refuse to have this on my life anymore!!!!  I will not!  Devil, I am taking back the ground that you've stolen from me!  I am taking back the goodness you have stolen in what you intended men to be!  YOU CANNOT HAVE MY FUTURE!  YOU CANNOT HAVE MY RELATIONSHIPS!  YOU CANNOT HAVE MY HUSBAND because of my fear!!!!!"

Xena, Warrior Princess came out...with the yell and everything.  I just got SO ANGRY!!!!  Because so many times the thoughts have snuck in to just settle...to do things a certain way because, well, that's what I had been told to do, or that's what was seen, or or or or or.  Always the or.  But NO LONGER!  I am choosing to do things HIS WAY in this.

And I will NOT back down!!!!!!!!  I am choosing, as we learned last night, to WRESTLE WITH GOD until He breaks EVERY CHAIN in this area!!  I don't want the bondage anymore.  I don't want the fear.  I WANT IT GONE GONE GONE GONE GONE!!!

And I am CHOOSING to stand on the promises that have been spoken to me these past 2 months.  I am choosing to stand on the words given about my husband, my marriage, and my relationship.  I WILL NO LONGER SETTLE!  IT'S NOT OKAY ANYMORE!!!!!  And it never has been.  But I think a part of my heart was willing to settle so I wouldn't have to deal w/ the fears of a relationship. So I wouldn't have to deal w/ the fears of what emotions would come out, what my emotions would look like.  Because that's what I discovered last night.  So many emotions...and from a person who didn't always know how to express emotions or was told I was just "too sensitive" (b.s. people...being real, but that was b.s....I can explain that later...)...to someone w/ a gazillion of them now, and they're coming so fast that I don't know which way is up and down this past week...and trying so hard to guard my heart, my mind and my emotions...that I was just plain tired of battling.  So, everything is on hold in this arena until further notice.  Because I want freedom FIRST.  I won't back down!  Which comes to the next song on my playlist this morning:

Well I won't back down, no I won't back down
you could stand me up at the gates of hell
but I won't back down

Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
and I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
gonna stand my ground and I won't back down

Chorus
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just one life
in a world that keeps on pushin' me around
but I'll stand my ground and I won't back down

Hey baby there ain't no easy way out
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down
No, I won't back down

But for right now, whatever my heart or mind may say...if it doesn't line up with the Word, with the freedom I desire, with the core values I am setting before my life...then I don't care what my heart, mind or emotions say. I won't back down.  I will stand my ground.

I will not settle.  I will fight.

I will stand.

Why?

Because I am worth the fight.

I am worth the battle.

I am worth the pursuit.

I am worth it.

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

I am precious.

I am anointed.

I am whole.

I am healed.

I am set free.

I am His daughter.

I am infectious.

I carry the presence.

I will not back down.

I will not allow joy to be stolen,

I will not allow the enemy to win,

I will not allow fear,

I will not allow lies,

I will not allow past failures,

I will not allow self-doubt,

I will not allow people's opinions,

I will not allow inner lies,

To steal the goodness of God, the mercy of God, the grace of God, the freedom of God

He is wanting to restore and place and create and strengthen in my life.

I won't allow it.

So my battle cry is set.

My eyes are straight ahead.

I won't back down

I will stand my ground

For He is worthy to be praised

In the midst of my storm

In the midst of my trials

He is always good

Nothing will change that

Nothing will sway me

My Abba Father is GOOD!

Losing it...and Loving it! :)

It's been a really long time since I've sat and wrote on this thing...almost a month to be exact.  And I can say...it's definitely been a journey.

Some days have been better than others.  Some days have been longer.  And yes, lots of tears and sweat and occasional pricks of blood drops due to paper cuts have been shed. (hehehe)

But today, I really just wanted to share what was on my heart at the moment.

Today was my weigh-in.  Dropped 2.2 lbs this week.  I was SOOOOOOOOO excited (and still am!).  I did my happy dance around the scale.  That's right.  I actually did a happy dance AROUND THE SCALE.  Those of you who have seen my happy dance...rejoice! lol

Part of me was excited about the weight loss.  But the biggest part of me was more excited that this process has been a beginning for me to choose to overcome.  It's a daily decision...will I choose to overcome old eating habits, old ways of thinking, old ways of a sedentary life...

Today is Day 20 since I made the commitment to learn to deal w/ the issues inside my body (from the physical aspect of it all).  So, I've been very careful on what I eat, how much I eat as well as daily activity of my body.
Here are several conclusions I've come up with:

1. When I want to quit, that's the best time to scream out loud, "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH".  And yes, I've screamed it out loud.

2. My body does not rule over me.  My emotions do not rule over me.  I make the choice to conquer my body and bring it into submission to the Word.  The Word that says I am healthy, whole and healed.

3. As I'm still learning, I cannot do this journey alone.  I was not made to be an island, but instead was made to lift up others and be lifted up myself.  Why?  Because we are all one body in Christ.  If my story can encourage others, then let that happen.  If I can be encouraged by someone else's story, then let me hear it!  We are here to encourage and build each other up, and I'm believing that my story will encourage others to do the same in a NATURAL and HEALTHY way rather than the rapid weight loss systems or surgeries (no condemnation people!).

4. I'm learning to love working out.  I wake up with workout brain.  Workout brain is when my first thought of waking up isn't just, "Morning Jesus!"  But it now includes, "Morning Jesus LET'S DO THIS! RAAAAWWWWRRRR" lol  And yes, I know Jesus laughs at me....you do too...admit it, I'm funny. :)

5. Above everything, my focus during this process isn't a sexy body, a hot body, or being "hot" or anything to that degree.  My focus is presence-driven...When I do this, I am honoring Him with my body, my heart, my time and my life.  I'm honoring Him when I choose to help Him keep me healthy by allowing my body to become healthy in a natural process that will not just take away the impurities in my body, but will take away the sickness and disease in it as well.

6. Seeing the results of scales and measurements no longer intimidates me.  Why?  Because I know that even if the numbers aren't that great, I can still choose to get back up and try it again.  I'm learning the definition of "determination", "hard work" (thanks Dolvett) and "persistence with passion".  Even on days where it feels horrible, I feel horrible and discouraged...I'm choosing to remember to cast it aside, lay it at the foot of the Cross, and get back up to listen to my Abba Father's voice above all else.


With all of that being said, I've come to the realization and reality of one thing:

I'm doing this for me.
I'm doing this for Jesus.
I'm doing this for my Abba Father.

No one else.
Nothing else.

I know my goal.  I know my focus.  I know the Truth.

And the Truth says I can do this.  Even when I stumble a bit, the Light shows me the path.  And I can choose which way I go: to stay down, stay discouraged, and quit and give up because it's too hard or it's too painful.  Or path #2, get back up, put the scale away, put my blinders on so I don't get distracted by anything but what's in front of me and what is up, dust myself off, and try again, and again, and even again if necessary.

hard work
determination
never give up

Isn't God good?! :)

With that being said, my prayer for you is this:

You realize who you are in Him, so you can get the strength needed and the understanding that YOU matter to Him, and so does the way you live and worship Him with your body.  Not only that, but that you would allow others to encourage you.  That He would give you the boldness to share your struggles, your victories and the times when you stumble around for just a bit...not so people can condemn or laugh at you, but so that He can begin to use others around you to encourage and motivate you.
That you would begin to realize just how much you are loved in ALL aspects of your life, no matter what you look like, what you sound like, what you weigh, or anything else.
That you would see weight-loss from His perspective: not for selfish or worldly ways and reasons of doing it, but instead, it is so you can learn to honor Him with your body, ALL of your body, not just portions or pieces.

With that, dear beloveds, have a wonderful and fantastic day.  It's time for me to get back to my schedule and go workout! :)