One minute at a time....6/1/14

It's been awhile since I've last posted.  My previous one was most definitely a rant that I kept to myself. :)

Anywho....

I can't believe it's been 10 months since Eric and I got married.  We were talking earlier this weekend, and we both agree--it feels like it's been so much longer, but in such a good way.  I love my husband.  The man who cooked me breakfast and added extra turkey bacon 'cause I wanted.  He made the coffee for me, and he let me sleep in knowing just how tired I was.

The same man who's shampooing our bedroom carpet right now as we had a mini-flood happen on our floor.

The same man who gives me hugs when I asks, does GREAT back and feet massages, and who loves me unconditionally through the worst of my more dramatic moments.

All that to say....

It seems lately God has been hammering a singular theme into my life this past month.  "One minute at a time; one moment; one day."  Basically, it's all about the baby steps.  Sometimes I expect so much more out of myself than anyone else.  I put all of this added stress to try to get things perfect "just right".  And I have allowed myself to forget that it's okay to breathe in those little moments.  It's okay that not everything gets done all at once because I said so in one day.  I have had to admit, multiple times, that I am not superwoman.  I've tried to be.  Ask my hubby and staff.

I've tried to get everything perfect, lined up, ducks in a row.  I've tried to present that facade everything is okay, I can handle this attitude.  When, clearly, I can't.  From stress at work (deadlines, deadlines, deadlines, deadlines, staff, deadlines, children, deadlines, deadlines, etc.) to stress at trying to maintain a home to "perfect" standards...

I'm sitting here with maybe 8 hours sleep under my belt this entire week.  And I'm thinking...I can't do this.

My thought process on this isn't real.

Something has to change.

So, I grab my 2nd cup of coffee, and I sit, and I write.  Only to realize....you know what, if it's not immaculately clean...it will be okay.

The chore chart has helped SOOOOO MUCH!!!!  It's allowed my life at home to be a bit more manageable, and less likely for me to pull my hair out every time I see something that needs to be done.

In essence, because we've broken up everything that needs to get done around the house between Eric and I, and between 6 days of the week....maintaining the house has been easier.  Keeping things CLEANER (I can't say it's completely clean) has been easier too.

What's the point of all this, you ask?

No matter what journey you are on, stop beating yourself up.  Stop expecting perfectionism.  Stop expecting others to be perfect.  Stop setting expectations of things so high, that you don't realize that you need to come down to Earth just a wee bit.  (Not saying lower them....just be REALISTIC with them.)  Let that Holy Spirit voice that we tend to push to the background have a bit louder of a say so.  Listen to the way you talk to yourself...if all you can do is put yourself down because of your imperfections, maybe it's time to realize that those same imperfections are what make you unique.

Above anything else, forgive yourself for feeling like you should be doing it all.  Because you can't.  No one can.  Not really.

And it's okay to admit that.  It's okay to admit that you need help, accountability and friendship along the way.  It's okay to fall off the wagon.  Just make sure you get back up and try it again.  And again.  And again.  Don't beat yourself up over falling.  Beat yourself up for not picking yourself back up again.  Or for giving up.

Anywho....that's all for now.  Just some thoughts as the shampoo thingy is running, the coffee is in my hand, and the pressure canner is slowly winding down. :)

-af

What Prayer Is & What Prayer Isn't

                 What Prayer Is                                                                 What Prayer Isn't
Entering into a conversation w/ God                                  Viewing God as a grantor of our wishes
Seeking God's direction with choices                                 Asking God for a stamp of approval on decisions
Humbling ourselves before Almighty God                          Demanding our rights



This was on page 17 of my reading today.  I picked up the new book I had ordered, thinking, well, I need something to read while I wait for my clothes to get out of the washer, so why not this one?

And when I got onto page 17, there at the top was this lovely list.  Now, mind you, I'm pretty sure we've all heard these before.  This little comparison table...but one of them caught my eye in particular. "Asking God for a stamp of approval on decisions."

When I read that, my heart just went, eeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT! 

Lately, it hasn't been about seeking.  It's been about me telling the Lord this is what's going to happen, and this is the way it's going to be, and You're gonna bless it.  (See the pride there?!)  Never taking into His account that He wants an input.

And I've been seeing that attitude a lot in myself as things have come up with work, school, decision making...  Always into the plans, the back-up plans, etc.

It's come to the point where I've resorted to some old habits, bad habits, that come right in line w/ what prayer ISN'T.  And my heart needed to hear that this morning.

Especially as I sit and pray over my staff and kiddos today, praying over their day, praying for strength and grace over my staff, praying for a smooth transition for the parents and myself, and praying over my campus. I needed my eyes and my heart to be re-focused on why I was placed there to begin with.  And to not allow others expectations to dictate my actions and attitudes.

So, as I sit here and type out the mile-long to do list (especially since I'm now having to play catch up), I'm having to remind myself and my spirit to not only just breathe, but praying for His breathe to enter in as I begin to seek Him for some answers on just what I want this year to look like.  Writing down the visions, the expectations, the goals...and taking those before Him and asking Him how those look like, and how they can be accomplished.

I have big dreams this year.  Bigger than the ones I've ever had working in this program.  And I believe that they are God-given.

Now I just need to learn to surrender my plans versus HIS plans.  Never easy, but I'm willing to try.

Quick Update... :)

Seeing as how I'm procrastinating right now, due to the immensity of this project, I decided what better way than to do a quick update.

The past 1-2 weeks has been INSANE! haha  Filled w/ job interviews, craziness, and random issues popping up.  From almost a week of, "YES, I have my life back!" to "ughhhh I hate lack of communication".  But that last part is slowly being resolved, I think.  So that's good.

This week sees a bit of some hectic hair pulling.  Got the call on Friday that I have an interview as an ECT-IA...which means that I may be able to have my own classroom, work w/ kiddos in a somewhat teaching capacity...without my finished degree.  And, after awhile, the possibility of finishing my degree once I work for over a year or so.  Which has seen me massively working on my teaching portfolio the past...uhh...3 days.  From old pics, to lesson plans, to letters of recommendation, to, well, the past 6 years of my work life crammed into 1 binder.

Plus, trying to make sure that I am ready for the speaking engagement I have this coming weekend...being in the Word, prepping, praying over the words I'll be speaking, running it past some wise council to make sure it's okay, flows well, not confusing, etc.

And I did let my boss know about the possibility of a new job for me yesterday.  He wasn't too thrilled, but he understood.  Thank God.  I was a little worried.

But yeah.

And for my accountability partner...all is well. :)  Lack of communication regarding the long/confusing story has been hashed out...PTL...in the form of several things.  Ask me later! haha

So, that's it.  Gotta go!  Gotta get ready for wk, head in early, wk on my portfolio, then have a mtg tonight at church, then come home, work on my portfolio...........SLEEP IS GOOD! haha

!!! & YAAAAY & UGH! all in one! :)

First off I've gotta say, if you've been reading up on these, thanks everyone! :)  And if not, no worries.  I still love you. :)  I just may withhold my yummy oh-so-delicious chocolate chip cookies from you!  (Which, MG, I haven't forgotten that I owe you a batch!)

With all of that being said...

Today's title...kinda makes me sound a little off, right? haha  I think probably because that's what is going inside my head right now.  Lots of excitement, lots of dancing around, and then throw in some groans or 6 and you've got me all figured out this season!  I should probably just start listing, explaining, and going from there! :)

1. Contending for the word: healthy life & supernatural weight loss.  This right here has got to be the number one biggest battle in my life right now.  Not the addiction, not the past...but this right here.  Yes, I know it's tied to the past.  And tied to the thoughts in my head.  But it's been a constant battle to get up and believe this word.  Partly because it seems so easy to just give in and not do it...not workout, not eat healthy, not live a healthy life.  And honestly, some days I throw up my hands, say screw it all, and eat a 3 mini-scoops of vanilla ice cream w/ nutella, sugar waffle cones and M&Ms.  (Yes, that's what I did tonight.)  So many people tend to think it's easy, that all this enthusiasm comes naturally (did you hear me snort in laughter just now?!).  They couldn't be more wrong.  Though I'm learning how to enjoy it, it's still a battle.  A battle inside my head going, You know what happens when men think you're beautiful.  What if the abuse happens again?  What if you get noticed? What if all men see is the "skinny" you and that's all you attract?  What if...what if...what if...  I HATE HATE that game inside my head.  And every second is a battle to not give in to those lies.  To take every thought captive to the obedience and knowledge of Christ.  Because that's not what my Daddy Father says.  But a part of me is seriously freaked out on what, exactly, would happen WHEN I lose this weight...I've never been "skinny". EVER. EEEVVVEEEERRRR.  For as long as I can remember, I've always worn plus-size clothing.  And now, I'm slowly seeing the light where I can very soon stop shopping at Lane Bryant because all their clothes are too big...and inside my head, though I seem to present a nice, calm, happy exterior...inside my head I am slowly wigging out.  I am slowly, step by step, battling.  Battling for my life, my health...for the vision and the words spoken over me concerning health, wholeness and healing.  And I know so many people have so much input and ideas and yada yada yada...the one thing that I KNOW to do ...is listen to my Daddy on what HE wants me to do.  And to Debbie! lol  (can't forget Ms. Debbie!)  Some may be offended by this, see this as arrogant.  Not really.  I just need to listen to His voice...because when I hear His voice, that's when peace reigns inside my heart and my head.  I don't hear the lies when I hear His voice.  All I hear is the words, "Keep going, beautiful beloved!  You've got this!  Come on!  I'm giving you MY strength.  Here, take MY joy!  Shout it out...let out all the tears, frustrations and anger that got you here in the first place."  And, at points in time during my workouts recently, I've just done the workout, the exercise, weeping, in tears, screaming at myself to keep going, don't quit, don't stop.  Learning how to OVERCOME the lies of the enemy with the truth that I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!  Is it easy?  No.  Not by any means.  And I still quake at the thought of what might happen when I hit where I want to be weight (number) wise.  (I couldn't do clothes size as I don't remember being smaller than an 18...yeah, I said that via cyber space.)  But I know that I have some amazing cheerleaders who love me, been with me through the lies, through the deliverance, and through the journey.  So, I'd like to give a shout out to a few people right here and now...and if I forgot you, I'm sorry...it's late! lol  Just hit me up and I'll add ya!

Shout out goes to: Mari--through the phone calls and texts, always pushing me to keep going, never quit, and listening as I sob on the phone.  Rose D--for making me want to be a bit more competitive...not intentionally...but because I know you're, like, super buff and I wanna be like you! :)  Rose B--for listening, for the hugs, and for the info on how to keep my body healthy naturally.  Without you, my life would be sad.  And I'd never have 4 amazing little boys to hug, cuddle and watch TV with if it wasn't for you and Nick!  Debbie G--oh, this woman!  oh oh this woman!  Kicks my butt, and then has me coming back for me I get so excited! lol  Who encourages me, and then tells me I can't go half-way in things...like moving isn't working out! lol  But who loves me enough in Christ that every time I see her I just want to hug her and thank her...because I know she doesn't realize just how much this means to me. Joe & Desiree H--who added me to their FB group, and got me to begin to challenge myself...but who also put me with the right connections to get onto this path of healthy living.  Ruby P & the ladies from Thursday morning glory group--you all have NO IDEA how much I love you all!  Every time I see you all I just wanna give hugs!! haha  Your encouragement, wisdom and prayers have gotten me through some tough and dark times this season, and for that, I thank you.  You all get to see the end results as He takes me through this journey.  And thanks for letting me share what He's been doing in me!
And for the others who have prayed, given words, or just plain blessed me--thank you thank you thank you!  You have no idea the encouragement you've given to me...even when I don't always want to hear it! lol

2. Freedom to be who I am in Him.  Oh, how this has been a very important key this season!  Learning whose I am, but also WHO I am...without excuses! :)  Learning to be comfortable in my own skin, yet changing where He's called me to change.  In essence, finally getting my identity from logos (head knowledge) to rhema (heart knowledge) and understanding just exactly what that means.  And not accepting anything less than that!  Also learning to accept myself...flaws and all.  And be content with who He has made me to be...and FINALLY believing all those things He says about me.  Even on bad days, days where it's stressful, or I want to rage at the world...I've seen a difference in my stance of identity...I no longer claim the bad stuff, but instead speak the Word over myself, and my situation.  Which leads to...

3. Growing Up.  It's taking many, many years for this to finally come to pass.  But I'm realizing that I'm beginning to bloom as a woman of God.  And am SO STINKIN' EXCITED about this!  After the many words about this, finally understanding what He meant when He said those things...just...wow.  I'm growing up.  I wish I could explain more about that, but honestly, I wouldn't know where to begin.  Which is probably why a friend and I had a 3 hour conversation! hahahahaha  Trying to share everything with him was way more difficult than I expected...because there was so much to share!  But I thank him for listening to me anyways! :)  And feeding me yummy food. :)

4. Moving.  Oh my gosh the trials that went with this.  Exhaustion, forgetting to pack half my crap due to exhaustion, frustration w/ myself, frustration w/ myself, more frustration w/ myself. lol  Not many people know where I moved to...I'd like to keep it that way.  I'm okay w/ this, actually.  I honestly like being off the grid for a season.  This has allowed me to get my ducks in a row personally.  From finances, to prayers, to learning how to live life...I've needed this for awhile.  And I have moved in with a wonderful lady who is willing to help me learn how to organize, keep house, and help me maintain a nice, cleanly environment.  More like, she's willing to take my hand and show me those steps!  Thanks, Ms. Patti! :)  You are an answer to a prayer I never knew I had prayed until recently.  This move...it's been...interesting.  I've purged over half of my things.  I took MG's car loaded up to the brim, then my car loaded up front seat, back seat AND trunk.  And I'm more than likely going to take another load when I begin to unpack.  Goodwill has gotten so much from me I think I single-handedly supplied their store for a week! lol  Including furniture!  But honestly, this has been a season of purging.  Out with the old woman, in with the new mind-skin.  The new me.  The me that is free, whole, healed and delivered.  The me that I always knew was inside, but I was so stinkin' scared to let out.  And honestly,  I love who He's making me to be.  I'm great! lol

And with all of that being said...I wish we could sit down face to face and I could tell you just exactly what's been on my heart lately.  But that would take way longer than this blog to do!  So, I'll leave you with a song that has been playing on the radio recently, and when I first heard it, I was like, YES! :)

Girls Night In--A DIY Night Courtesy of Pinterest & Research! :)

Okay...so tonight I decided to treat myself to a mini-spa night while on vacation house-sitting! hahaha  It all started w/ Pinterest ideas...and then blossomed into researching other ideas/recipes for this...and then I just plain wanted dessert and a try at the jacuzzi bathtub. :)

So, here are the recipes!  Enjoy...relax...if you'd like, pour yourself a tiny glass of wine to go w/ your dessert.  And if you don't drink, make non-alcoholic ones (which is what I did!). :)

Recipe #1: Espresso Yourself Face Mask
courtesy of: http://www.herbcompanion.com/heal/body-care/facial-mask-recipe-zmrz12fmzwar.aspx

1/4 cup finely ground coffee, preferably espresso roast (okay, I cheated...I used k-cups 'cause that's all the coffee I found around the house...and they had them in bulk...I used 2)
1/4 cup cocoa powder (I used the dark chocolate variety, 'cause, well, I LOOOOOVE dark chocolate)
1/2 cup whole milk (I used 1% as that was what was in the fridge)

Combine and mix thoroughly to make a paste.  To use: put on face and neck, avoiding mouth/eyes area.  Leave on for 15 minutes then wash off w/ warm water.

Review: This wasn't too bad.  It was a bit runny for my taste...which made for an interesting time trying to get it on my face.  But overall, it worked.  Even w/ the modifications. :)  My face feels super soft and silky...a VERY different texture than I'm used to from other masks that I've tried (mainly an avocado/oatmeal mask, and a tomato/oatmeal/lemon juice mask).  When I make this again, I'm definitely going to try using LESS milk to make more of a paste, which is what it's supposed to be. :)

Recipe #2: Olive Oil Hair Treatment
courtesy of: http://www.collegefashion.net/beauty-and-hair/dorm-room-spa-3-easy-diy-beauty-recipes-to-try/

2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

Rub EVOO into hair, massaging it into scalp and ends.  Take a warm, damp towel and wrap around head and hair.  Leave on for 30-45 minutes.  Rinse with shampoo.  May take several washings (it took me 2).

Review: My hair enjoyed this.  If you have naturally oily hair, DON'T USE IT!  It'll just make it worse.  BUT, it did make my hair nice and soft, very silky.  It did make it a bit heavier (which is probably why it helps w/ frizz).  I left it on for 20 minutes rather than the full time.  Overall, I liked this one.  The debate is still out, though, until tomorrow! :)

Recipe #3: Brown Sugar Body Scrub
courtesy of: http://www.collegefashion.net/beauty-and-hair/dorm-room-spa-3-easy-diy-beauty-recipes-to-try/

1 1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp vanilla extract

Combine all ingredients.  And it's ready to use! :)

Review:  I TOTALLY loved this recipe!!!  I will be making it and leaving it in a container.  It's even BETTER than the one I have from Bath Junkie (sorry bath junkie...even though I'm a devoted fan, this one is cheaper and so much more nicer!).  Instead of EVOO I used coconut oil (look up the 80 uses of coconut oil via google or pinterest).  Which meant that I DIDN'T put in the vanilla, as the coconut smell was strong enough for me! :)  I did add a dash of coffee grounds (left over from the k-cups and recipe #1) and a dash of cinnamon--I don't recommend the cinnamon portion! lol  But I wanted to be adventurous tonight! :)  Overall, my skin feels AMAZING!  My alligator skin on the legs is on the mend (thanks coconut oil!) and I just plain love the feel of nice satin on my skin. :)  This one for sure is a keeper...with a possibility of it being given as gifts! :)  You can also put in essential oils, vitamin E (break open the capsules) for additional smells and skin benefits.

For dessert, I had cream puffs.  No, they weren't homemade.  They were in the freezer here at the house, and rather than create a dessert, I just thawed those babies out while I created the recipes, ran the bath, and got everything ready for my spa night in! :)

What a GREAT way to celebrate goals achieved and victories won! :)

Accountability Contract Update :)

Accountability for Weight Loss

Weekly Exercise Goals

·         30 mins of moving/work out 3 times a week.  NO EXCUSES!!!

·         At least 1 time a week meet for exercise/fellowship

Monthly Nutritional Goals

·         Eat balanced meal (incorporate veggies and fruit) (AP#2: eat 1 balanced meal/day)

·         Strive for  3 meals and 2 snacks a day

·         Food Journal – application/journal

·         Daily vitamins

·         Limit sweets once a day (Alex & AP#2)

·         Limit soda to twice a week (AP#1)

·         Limit juice to once a day (AP#2)

Weigh Loss Goal

Starting Weight:

If I told you, I'd have to kill you. ;)

                Short Term Goal

·         Weigh only once weekly – notify each other!

·         .5-2.0 lbs per week

1^st Goal 4lbs by Dec 1

2^nd Goal 4lbs by Jan 1

3^rd Goal 6lbs by Feb 1

                Total loss: 14 lbs in 3 mths

Long Term – Final End Result

·         Alex: 135 lbs

·         AP#1: 150 lbs

·         AP#2: 140 lbs

Rules for breaking agreement

·         Extra workout- other person chooses weekly

·         $1.00 in jar for Nutritional portion weekly

·         If short term weight loss goal is not met, must pay difference of goals minus actual weight loss

Celebration for Weight Loss Goals

·         1^st goal- Starbucks/coffee (AP#2: go to the movies)

·         2^nd goal- Shopping trip

·         3^rd goal-Cook a new recipe 

Accountability

So, tonight I worked out with a friend...and we braved the wonders of...ACCOUNTABILITY (dun0dun-dun...I love the dramatic music in my head haha).

Our discussion lead to an accountability contract which I wanted to share with, well, whoever reads this.  And also to have it documented here for me to look back on as I journey throughout the years.

If anyone wants to join in, lemme know! :)  The more the merrier! :)

Accountability for Weight Loss

Weekly Exercise Goals

·         30 mins of moving/work out 3 times a week.  NO EXCUSES!!!

·         At least 1 time a week meet for exercise/fellowship

Monthly Nutritional Goals

·         Eat balanced meal (incorporate veggies and fruit)

·         Strive 3 meals and 2 snacks a day

·         Food Journal – application/journal

·         Daily vitamins

·         Limit sweets once a day (Alex)

·         Limit soda to twice a week 

Weigh Loss Goal

Starting Weight:

AG: you so know I'm not putting it out there. lol

                Short Term Goal

·         Weigh only once weekly – notify each other!

·         .5-2.0 lbs per week

1^st Goal 4lbs by Dec 1

2^nd Goal 4lbs by Jan 1

3^rd Goal 6lbs by Feb 1

                Total loss: 14 lbs in 3 mths

Long Term – Final End Result

·         Alex: 135 lbs

·         AP: 150 lbs

Rules for breaking agreement

·         Extra workout- other person chooses weekly

·         $1.00 in jar for Nutritional portion weekly

·         If short term weight loss goal is not met, must pay difference of goals minus actual weight loss

Celebration for Weight Loss Goals

·         1^st goal- Starbucks/coffee

·         2^nd goal- Shopping trip

·         3^rd goal-Cook a new recipe 

The meaning of rest as defined by house-sitting and other things. :)

Ha!  The title cracked me up for a minute there. :)

Today was the official start-date for the house-sitting job I have over the weekend.  It happens to be at a place I absolute love and adore, with 4 of the coolest dogs I've met (probably 'cause they crack me up with their antics...and they're weiner dogs...always makes me laugh).  Did I mention that there's a pool here? :)  Which is how this blog came to be, well, sort of. :)

Mostly started last weekend at the retreat for Fuel.  It was an amazing place to stay, where we were at...filled w/ cubbie holes, crawl spaces, a fireman's pole you can slide down from, plus chocolates on our pillow as well as packs of gum.  And did I mention the what seems like gazillion books scattered throughout the place.  PLUS a working jukebox, foozeball table, air hockey table...yeah, this place was amazing...and I loved it there.

But I realized that last weekend was only partial rest.  Pretty much my fault on that one.  I got so caught in trying to make sure everything was done BEFORE leaving, that when I finally got there, I pretty much just crashed out.  Now, don't get me wrong here...it was excellent and amazing and MUCH needed.  I just forgot how to sit for a moment without moving. haha

Which brings us to this passing week.  It's been hectic and busy.  Filled w/ drama, things going on at work, more drama, parental conversations, good compliments, constructive criticism, late nights working, with even later nights working from home, to early mornings at the office, to, well, you get the picture.  I've never drank as much caffeine in 1 month as I did this week.  My poor body lived off caffeine...and will continue to do so until tomorrow after ER day...But anywho...

This whole week has been filled w/ craziness.  No rest, no relaxation.  Pretty much, work, come home, eat the one meal (maybe 2 if I remembered to eat breakfast...which consisted of the leftover casserole I had from this weekend to maximize time and not cook), sleep, get up, work, come home, eat, repeat cycle...  With bouts of tears thrown in just at how hectic and busy and stressful it's been having to deal w/ certain...uh..."situations" thrown my way.

So, when I get the text asking me to housesit at one of my favorite places, I was like YES PRAISE THE BABY JESUS! (haha  Always reminds me of Rita for some reason...)

And tonight, I was all ready to snuggle in bed a bit early, so excited at the thought of relaxing, that in my excitedness to relax, I couldn't even fall asleep! (I know, sad, right?!)

So, decided to head for a "midnight swim" so to speak (yeah, I know it's not midnigt, but that's okay!).  With my cup of pumpkin spice coffee (oh, how I love this family!! :)...they have a Keurig machine w/ pumpkin spice coffee cups...can we say, FREE coffee that's my favorite drink!?!).  And, in the cold water, I just floated in the pool, looking at the clouds moving, the stars twinkling, talking to the giant dog named Cocoa, who I love and adore and could hug and squeeze and...well, you get the picture.  Talk about gentle giant of a dog! haha

Anywho, I was just floating along, praying, talking to God...when He reminded me that even I, yes, IIIIII (stretch this out in a long sort of voice), need rest.  I'm known at work as the one who's willing to do what it takes to get the job done, who puts in those extra hours for the kids, who goes above and beyond.  Not only that, but just...well...yeah.

So, listening to Him, He reminded me of my desire during the retreat...which was to not just be a vessel of His love, but to rest in Him, knowing that every time I look up at that night sky, I just laugh with joy at what my Abba has created for me. :)  The beauty around me, just...well...WOWZERS.

So, I floated along, and this happiness began to bubble up in me.  I even started talking to the dog (yes, I know...Jesus loves me. :) ).

Which is when I realized what He wanted me to learn all along this summer, the summer where I was told to rest...

I feel safest when I rest.
In His arms, in a pool, in a chair...
When I'm at rest, no matter how hectic my day is, no matter what's been going on in life,
When I take the time to rest, I feel SAFE.
Nothing can harm me
Nothing can come against me (though it may try)
But feeling that perfect peace which comes from Him.

Now, some of you may think that's silly,
But I am starting to realize just how important rest is.
Even resting from all the "religious" things we do...
reading praying journaling meditating
I know...some of you are probably gasping right now at the last 2 sentences there
But hold on, let me finish!

Resting from those things...
meaning, taking the time to put those aside,
And just basking in Him
Listening to Him
singing to Him off key in the dark where no one can here you but the dog...and the howling cat next door
Setting aside my agenda of reading a good book by Dutch Sheets,
or setting aside the journal that reminds me to pray,
or setting asie the phone w/ the portable Bible on it...

And just sitting down somewhere,
quietting the mind,
and CHOOSING to listen to Him
with my giant cup of Pumpkin Spice coffee
and my ears turned to heaven
the dog lying across my legs
and the phone on some pretty cool jammin' worship

All that to say...

Remember that you were once slaves in Egypt, but the Lord your God brought you out with his strong hand and powerful arm. That is why the Lord your God has commanded you to rest on the Sabbath day.
Deut 5:15

And the Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had solemnly promised their ancestors. None of their enemies could stand against them, for the Lord helped them conquer all their enemies.
Josh 21:44

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength.
Isaiah 30:15

Blessed are those who honor my Sabbath days of rest and keep themselves from doing wrong.
Isaiah 56:2

For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing.”
Jeremiah 31:25

All who found them devoured them. Their enemies said, ‘We did nothing wrong in attacking them, for they sinned against the Lord, their true place of rest, and the hope of their ancestors.’
Jeremiah 50:7 (The Lord is our TRUE place of rest...nothing else will satisfy us as a long soak with the Lord)

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

King David said this about him:
   ‘I see that the Lord is always with me.
      I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
 ²⁶ No wonder my heart is glad,
      and my tongue shouts his praises!
      My body rests in hope.
Acts 2:25-26

Hebrews 3:19
So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter his rest.

[ Promised Rest for God’s People ] God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it.
For this good news—that God has prepared this rest—has been announced to us just as it was to them. But it did them no good because they didn’t share the faith of those who listened to God.
For only we who believe can enter his rest. As for the others, God said, “In my anger I took an oath: ‘They will never enter my place of rest,’” even though this rest has been ready since he made the world.
We know it is ready because of the place in the Scriptures where it mentions the seventh day: “On the seventh day God rested from all his work.”
But in the other passage God said, “They will never enter my place of rest.”
So God’s rest is there for people to enter, but those who first heard this good news failed to enter because they disobeyed God.
So God set another time for entering his rest, and that time is today. God announced this through David much later in the words already quoted: “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts.”
Now if Joshua had succeeded in giving them this rest, God would not have spoken about another day of rest still to come.
So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God.
For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world.
So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall.
Hebrews 4:1-11


So, take your favorite cup of coffee, plop yourself on a chair outside, enjoy the cool breeze, and rest. :)

Day Three...Happy happy joy joy!!!!

Ha!  Woke up this morning an hour and a half before my alarm clock, but got in a good 7-8 hours of sleep!  It's been lovely, going to bed before midnight.  I have discovered that now, within 10 minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I am out.  And it's wonderfully lovely! :)  Kiss that, insomnia! :)  (As you can tell, I'm a little bouncy this morning.)

I did wake up to discover that my obliques/sides/whatever you call that area of your body is sore.  And Pilates did that?!?!  I wasn't skeptical for a minute.  Interesting.  And I woke up seriously hungry, and now am getting a hunger headache.  I'm thinking it's time for breakfast!  YAY!!  Not at all excited to eat food.  What a great time to reflect and think and....eh, who am I kidding?!  I'm really really hungry. :)

Anywho, on today's schedule: workout DVD this morning (to Bob today...ugh stupid lunges), get ready for work, lunch meeting with IR & LL, run errands BEFORE lunch meeting, try to shut up the cats outside my window who are howling like mad, work, then hopefully, if all goes well and I don't have to stay late for work...workout #2 with NC today. :)

Adios, morning world!  Til later on today. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No workout this evening.  I laid down...and that was the end of that.  All energy has left this building.  And I ate a crappy dinner.  Do I feel guilty?  Somewhat.  But then I remember that this isn't about denying myself and rules and such, but instead about learning how to balance everything IN MODERATION.  So, what am I gonna do next?

Go enjoy my almond milk cappuccino swirl and a tall glass of ice water and park myself in front of the TV and do no work, and relax, and go to bed by 10:30 midnight.
That, and probably have a good cry.  Stupid girl moments, especially when said moments are late, which causes havoc with the emotions.

So, all in all, a good day.  At least I worked out this morning.  Will possibly consider going walking tomorrow morning only 'cause I already did the DVD today, and Bob and I are good for another day or so (we're better off distant friends where we see each other every other day or so).  Either that or do Pilates again.  Had such fun with that!

And, can I say...I think I'm noticing a difference in the shape of the belly.  But it may just be me. lol  And my hopeful, optimistic, dear-Jesus-I-want-to-be-healthy way. :)

Oh!  And I added 3 accountability partners today with this.  For encouragement, hugs, compliments, pushes gentle nudges of grace, and overall throw me off a cliff and pray I make it cheerleaders. :)

Oh.  And did I mention...I left work early on time, and my boss congratulated me.  Yes, congratulated me.  Maybe my work time needs to become balanced once again...it used to be...oh well!  Readjustment time, I think.

Well, dear hearts!  Much love to you all, and I'ma headin' for the freezer!  YES!!!!!!!