It's been a really long time since I've sat and wrote on this thing...almost a month to be exact. And I can say...it's definitely been a journey.
Some days have been better than others. Some days have been longer. And yes, lots of tears and sweat and occasional pricks of blood drops due to paper cuts have been shed. (hehehe)
But today, I really just wanted to share what was on my heart at the moment.
Today was my weigh-in. Dropped 2.2 lbs this week. I was SOOOOOOOOO excited (and still am!). I did my happy dance around the scale. That's right. I actually did a happy dance AROUND THE SCALE. Those of you who have seen my happy dance...rejoice! lol
Part of me was excited about the weight loss. But the biggest part of me was more excited that this process has been a beginning for me to choose to overcome. It's a daily decision...will I choose to overcome old eating habits, old ways of thinking, old ways of a sedentary life...
Today is Day 20 since I made the commitment to learn to deal w/ the issues inside my body (from the physical aspect of it all). So, I've been very careful on what I eat, how much I eat as well as daily activity of my body.
Here are several conclusions I've come up with:
1. When I want to quit, that's the best time to scream out loud, "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH". And yes, I've screamed it out loud.
2. My body does not rule over me. My emotions do not rule over me. I make the choice to conquer my body and bring it into submission to the Word. The Word that says I am healthy, whole and healed.
3. As I'm still learning, I cannot do this journey alone. I was not made to be an island, but instead was made to lift up others and be lifted up myself. Why? Because we are all one body in Christ. If my story can encourage others, then let that happen. If I can be encouraged by someone else's story, then let me hear it! We are here to encourage and build each other up, and I'm believing that my story will encourage others to do the same in a NATURAL and HEALTHY way rather than the rapid weight loss systems or surgeries (no condemnation people!).
4. I'm learning to love working out. I wake up with workout brain. Workout brain is when my first thought of waking up isn't just, "Morning Jesus!" But it now includes, "Morning Jesus LET'S DO THIS! RAAAAWWWWRRRR" lol And yes, I know Jesus laughs at me....you do too...admit it, I'm funny. :)
5. Above everything, my focus during this process isn't a sexy body, a hot body, or being "hot" or anything to that degree. My focus is presence-driven...When I do this, I am honoring Him with my body, my heart, my time and my life. I'm honoring Him when I choose to help Him keep me healthy by allowing my body to become healthy in a natural process that will not just take away the impurities in my body, but will take away the sickness and disease in it as well.
6. Seeing the results of scales and measurements no longer intimidates me. Why? Because I know that even if the numbers aren't that great, I can still choose to get back up and try it again. I'm learning the definition of "determination", "hard work" (thanks Dolvett) and "persistence with passion". Even on days where it feels horrible, I feel horrible and discouraged...I'm choosing to remember to cast it aside, lay it at the foot of the Cross, and get back up to listen to my Abba Father's voice above all else.
With all of that being said, I've come to the realization and reality of one thing:
I'm doing this for me.
I'm doing this for Jesus.
I'm doing this for my Abba Father.
No one else.
Nothing else.
I know my goal. I know my focus. I know the Truth.
And the Truth says I can do this. Even when I stumble a bit, the Light shows me the path. And I can choose which way I go: to stay down, stay discouraged, and quit and give up because it's too hard or it's too painful. Or path #2, get back up, put the scale away, put my blinders on so I don't get distracted by anything but what's in front of me and what is up, dust myself off, and try again, and again, and even again if necessary.
hard work
determination
never give up
Isn't God good?! :)
With that being said, my prayer for you is this:
You realize who you are in Him, so you can get the strength needed and the understanding that YOU matter to Him, and so does the way you live and worship Him with your body. Not only that, but that you would allow others to encourage you. That He would give you the boldness to share your struggles, your victories and the times when you stumble around for just a bit...not so people can condemn or laugh at you, but so that He can begin to use others around you to encourage and motivate you.
That you would begin to realize just how much you are loved in ALL aspects of your life, no matter what you look like, what you sound like, what you weigh, or anything else.
That you would see weight-loss from His perspective: not for selfish or worldly ways and reasons of doing it, but instead, it is so you can learn to honor Him with your body, ALL of your body, not just portions or pieces.
With that, dear beloveds, have a wonderful and fantastic day. It's time for me to get back to my schedule and go workout! :)
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