Break EVERY chain

This morning, I stuck the banner in the ground.  And started my day with this song:

Break Every Chain – Will Reagan and

the United Pursuit Band

C#m    A      E     B

There is power in the name of Jesus
There is power in the name of Jesus
There is power in the name of Jesus
To break every chain
To break every chain
To break every chain

All sufficient sacrifice
So freely given
Such a price bought
Our redemption
Heaven’s gates swing wide

There’s an army rising up
There’s an army rising up
There’s an army rising up
There’s an army rising up
To break every chain
To break every chain
To break every chain (4x)

There’s power in the Name of Jesus

Copyright © 2009 United Pursuit Records – words and music written by

Will Reagan

This journey into venturing into breaking the fear of men (not being able to talk w/ them, running, the inability to accept compliments, not seeing them as, well, humans, but something scary, like the scary monsters from your nightmares) has been a long 2 months.  I know, it's only been 2 months.  But last night, and this morning (mostly this morning), my battle cry rose up in me.

I was done with this!  DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!!  I DON'T WANT THIS ANYMORE!  BREAK EVERY CHAIN!  I AM SO ANGRY AT THE ENEMY!  I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!  For the first time, something rose up in me and said, "I refuse to accept this!!  I refuse to receive this!!  I refuse to have this on my life anymore!!!!  I will not!  Devil, I am taking back the ground that you've stolen from me!  I am taking back the goodness you have stolen in what you intended men to be!  YOU CANNOT HAVE MY FUTURE!  YOU CANNOT HAVE MY RELATIONSHIPS!  YOU CANNOT HAVE MY HUSBAND because of my fear!!!!!"

Xena, Warrior Princess came out...with the yell and everything.  I just got SO ANGRY!!!!  Because so many times the thoughts have snuck in to just settle...to do things a certain way because, well, that's what I had been told to do, or that's what was seen, or or or or or.  Always the or.  But NO LONGER!  I am choosing to do things HIS WAY in this.

And I will NOT back down!!!!!!!!  I am choosing, as we learned last night, to WRESTLE WITH GOD until He breaks EVERY CHAIN in this area!!  I don't want the bondage anymore.  I don't want the fear.  I WANT IT GONE GONE GONE GONE GONE!!!

And I am CHOOSING to stand on the promises that have been spoken to me these past 2 months.  I am choosing to stand on the words given about my husband, my marriage, and my relationship.  I WILL NO LONGER SETTLE!  IT'S NOT OKAY ANYMORE!!!!!  And it never has been.  But I think a part of my heart was willing to settle so I wouldn't have to deal w/ the fears of a relationship. So I wouldn't have to deal w/ the fears of what emotions would come out, what my emotions would look like.  Because that's what I discovered last night.  So many emotions...and from a person who didn't always know how to express emotions or was told I was just "too sensitive" (b.s. people...being real, but that was b.s....I can explain that later...)...to someone w/ a gazillion of them now, and they're coming so fast that I don't know which way is up and down this past week...and trying so hard to guard my heart, my mind and my emotions...that I was just plain tired of battling.  So, everything is on hold in this arena until further notice.  Because I want freedom FIRST.  I won't back down!  Which comes to the next song on my playlist this morning:

Well I won't back down, no I won't back down
you could stand me up at the gates of hell
but I won't back down

Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
and I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
gonna stand my ground and I won't back down

Chorus
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just one life
in a world that keeps on pushin' me around
but I'll stand my ground and I won't back down

Hey baby there ain't no easy way out
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down
No, I won't back down

But for right now, whatever my heart or mind may say...if it doesn't line up with the Word, with the freedom I desire, with the core values I am setting before my life...then I don't care what my heart, mind or emotions say. I won't back down.  I will stand my ground.

I will not settle.  I will fight.

I will stand.

Why?

Because I am worth the fight.

I am worth the battle.

I am worth the pursuit.

I am worth it.

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

I am precious.

I am anointed.

I am whole.

I am healed.

I am set free.

I am His daughter.

I am infectious.

I carry the presence.

I will not back down.

I will not allow joy to be stolen,

I will not allow the enemy to win,

I will not allow fear,

I will not allow lies,

I will not allow past failures,

I will not allow self-doubt,

I will not allow people's opinions,

I will not allow inner lies,

To steal the goodness of God, the mercy of God, the grace of God, the freedom of God

He is wanting to restore and place and create and strengthen in my life.

I won't allow it.

So my battle cry is set.

My eyes are straight ahead.

I won't back down

I will stand my ground

For He is worthy to be praised

In the midst of my storm

In the midst of my trials

He is always good

Nothing will change that

Nothing will sway me

My Abba Father is GOOD!