Getting back up

Ha!  I love my title. :)  (Just thought I'd mention that, especially seeing as how that's exactly what I'll be talking about tonight here in my random musings.)

Getting back up on the word that has now been given to me FOUR times.  That's right.  4.

Last night at Spirit and Life, God began to give back the joy that I had allowed the enemy to take.  Through various trials, stress, etc.  An older couple in the church (who I was sitting behind) named Tony and Elaine seriously poured into me for 40 minutes.  Talk about a prophetic word!!!  And so what I needed to hear!  (Mind you, I had just met them that night.)

Anywho, one of their words was that they could see me even more beautiful and healthy than what I was; they could see me minus the weight.  AKA supernatural weight loss.

I heard this, and my heart just soared.  Why?  Because I had chosen to give up.

This whole weight thing...I hate it.  I hate having to deal with it.  I hate having to battle it.  I just plain hate having to even try to take it off.  And when it gets too difficult, or I get too lazy, I just up and quit.  Yeah, not so much the determined person now.  (Yes, I admitted that online!)

So, today, I was talking with the Lord (aka prayer) and just began to tell Him all the frustrations that go along w/ this whole weight loss thing.  The time to invest, the money, the issues, the upside, the downside, the insecurities...everything.  (okay, let me back track...while talking w/ Tony & Elaine, I admitted to them something that I had never told anyone about in why I struggle and sabatoge myself when I do lose weight)  Everything was brought out into the light when I prayed.

And then, I realized that with the word given last night, it was a reminder from Him to me that I needed to get back up again.  That He wouldn't let me forget the words given, but instead, He wanted to begin to show me the way to the mountain top.  It's time to get out of the valley.

So, with that being said...

I started looking up all of the old stuff He had given me awhile back, going back to YEARS of things.

Recipes
exercise routines
dieting (aka eating) does and don'ts
and the plan He had given me to succeed

I dusted it off and picked it back up, CHOOSING to get back up again

Admittedly, even now, I gulp and go, "uh, wouldn't it just be easier if I, like, didn't do it?"  and "um, well, You're God...couldn't You just miraculously take the weight off?"  To which I see/hear Him shake His head in amusement at me, reminding me that this is a journey that I WILL be taking, and I choose when I get off the mountain to go into the promised land.  I choose when I get out of the desert to go into the land of milk and honey.

So, once again, I am choosing to get back up.

Several things come to mind at what I want in this journey:
1. people to encourage and support me, whether it be through prayer, through working out with me, or even through sending me workouts

2. to not be noticed during this season  (this one is a hard one to explain, but I'm gonna try).  I'd rather hear a, "I'm proud that you're getting back up" or a "I'm proud!  Keep on going girl!" rather than a, "I've noticed you've lost weight." or "You're looking good" or, well, you get the picture.  I think it's because in the first part, I hear support and encouragement, and I'm reminded to give Him all the glory.  Whereas in my head (notice IN MY HEAD part) when I hear the 2nd part, all I keep hearing is a focus on the weight issue, a focus on all the crap (does that make any sense).  So, it's much easier for cheerleaders than noticers (am I making any sense on this one?!?!).

3. prayer partners--in the times when I just want to give up and quit, to fight the demons in my head regarding weight and the seemingly large obstacles, I want people to call to remind me not to give up the fight and to keep on battling

4. healthy recipes that I'm willing to try that are inexpensive yet absolutely, utterly delicious (which He and I are working on in regards to all my old stuff)

So, yeah.

I know, random musings tonight (well, sorta).

But that's what's been on my mind. :)