Today, well, the past few days, I've felt this need to write. And write some more.
To write what was on my heart. To let go of some things. To just...unburden myself. And allow all of the emotions to flow. That's one of the things I was told I was good at...writing down my emotions. I can't always express them, but when I write, everything just seems to flow from pen to paper.
Today was no different. As I sat at my desk, getting ready for the holiday festivities, I finally picked up my stationary set and pen and just let everything flow.
Doubts. Fears. Anger. Tears. And longing. So much longing.
And as I sat and wrote, this song kept playing in my head:
And over and over, the whisper of His voice as I wrote...to not give up, to keep on going. To keep my eyes open. To not let go. To not lose hope. Even amidst my frustration and angst. "'cause if you never leave home never let go you'll never make it to the great unknown...so show me your fire, show me your heart, you know I'll never let you fall apart, if you keep your eyes open, my love"
And I just burst into tears. This past week just hit me. The ending of something. Well, more than one thing. And how so many changes have come up. And that yeah, right now, my heart feels a bit broken and shattered at the realization that I need to let go of some things.
But I'm also reminded to not give up hope, even when that's all I want to do in my flesh. To keep holding on. To keep my eyes open.
But also to keep walking in Him. In His light. His voice. His love. "So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love"
To write what was on my heart. To let go of some things. To just...unburden myself. And allow all of the emotions to flow. That's one of the things I was told I was good at...writing down my emotions. I can't always express them, but when I write, everything just seems to flow from pen to paper.
Today was no different. As I sat at my desk, getting ready for the holiday festivities, I finally picked up my stationary set and pen and just let everything flow.
Doubts. Fears. Anger. Tears. And longing. So much longing.
And as I sat and wrote, this song kept playing in my head:
And over and over, the whisper of His voice as I wrote...to not give up, to keep on going. To keep my eyes open. To not let go. To not lose hope. Even amidst my frustration and angst. "'cause if you never leave home never let go you'll never make it to the great unknown...so show me your fire, show me your heart, you know I'll never let you fall apart, if you keep your eyes open, my love"
And I just burst into tears. This past week just hit me. The ending of something. Well, more than one thing. And how so many changes have come up. And that yeah, right now, my heart feels a bit broken and shattered at the realization that I need to let go of some things.
But I'm also reminded to not give up hope, even when that's all I want to do in my flesh. To keep holding on. To keep my eyes open.
But also to keep walking in Him. In His light. His voice. His love. "So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love"
All of that to say...
If you're at the point where you're so frustrated, and you want to give in....
When all you see is the darkness around you....
When you've lost hope in the promises given, or the words spoken...
Keep your eyes open.
Keep them focused on Him.
Don't look away.
Don't give up.
Crawl if you must.
Dig into the ground and elbow your way through the muck.
But keep your eyes open.
The mountain may seem large, but I promise, it's not.
It may seem unsurmountable, unattainable...
But it's not.
Because I serve a God who makes all things possible.
Paves a way where there is none.
Opens the floodgates of hope when we choose to keep our eyes on Him.
Not on our circumstances.
Not on our status quo.
Not on our relationship(s), or lack of them.
But when we are so focused on Him,
His eyes,
His heart,
His face,
His voice.
When we are so focused on Him,
That's all we say.
So, today, I'm letting that be my anthem, my theme, for this season, as I allow my heart to feel emotions, to break, to cry, to tear, to anger, and to doubt. I'm remembering that through it all, my eyes will still remain focused on Him.
And that brings me a comfort, a peace, a joy....that I can't even begin to describe.
Because I know that, ultimately, this leads to another chain broken, another thing being set free. Another petal in my flower to be allowed to bloom.
Praise the Lord, oh my soul.
And all that is within me, praise and bless His holy name.
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