Sometimes I wish...

You know, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish you would realize what you're saying.  And how it's coming it.  Sometimes, I wish you'd understand that you could have said no, too, instead of just agreeing for agreeing sake. Sometimes, I wish you'd not take your bad mood out on others, and that you'd stop making comments that seem to me passive aggressive.
Just because we're different, and we do things differently, doesn't mean that I'm wrong, or that you're wrong.  It just means we're different, and sometimes I really wish you'd be okay with that.  Sometimes, I wish you would stop acting as if my differences are beneath you, just because I do things differently, make decisions differently, follow my heart differently.
If you're upset with me, or angry with me, I wish you would just come out and say it.  I hate feeling like, after your bad mood, you have decided to see me and vomit on me.  This is why I tend to stay away, far far far far far far away, from you sometimes.  I'd rather not be made to feel like I've done something wrong, like a child.  Because that's the way you treat me.  I'm not like the others you severely dislike.  Instead, I'm me.  Accept me for me.  Why does it seem like you only accept the good parts of me when needed, or when it suits you, but then when I show weakness, or struggle, or differences, you turn away.  Especially when I do things differently than you.
I don't want to be part of this anymore.  I don't want to live like this anymore.  Everything in me wants to push you away, and to just let you be.  I'm trying really hard, at moments, to not put up blocks and walls around my heart.  But you don't always make it easy.
All that to say, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish things could be different between us.  I wish you could understand that I don't want to be you, I want to be me.  I wish you could understand that neither of us are right or wrong, but instead, we need each other, and that the more and harder you push, the more I want to give up on you, turn away, and let you be.  I wish you could understand that my priorities and visions are different than yours, and be okay with that, be accepting of that.  Instead, sometimes you treat those things as if they're beneath you, or they don't matter, and that translates to I don't matter.  I wish you could see how much that hurts.  How much my heart grieves to hear that.  And how much I want to wrap my heart back into it's little corner.  And to runaway from you.
I wish you could see all that.
But in your brokenness, you can't.  In your hurt, your tiredness, your barrenness, you can't see past the pain, the hurt, the heartache.
And my heart grieves for you. My spirit grieves for you.  And my prayer is, is that you begin to rise up, heal, take your place in this world, and see for yourself what a magnificent creation He has made each one of us, despite faults, dents, viewpoints, opinions and differences.
Jesus loves you more than I, and for that, I praise Him.  Because that means I'm learning to love you the way He does.