I know...you were probably expecting me to write something really long. But I'm tired, and have to get up super early tomorrow. Night world. I'll type you out tomorrow. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday was GREAT fun! It was an overall good day at work. Played a new game with my 5th graders, which the 3 3rd graders in my class yesterday beat them all (it was a vocab game called Blurt! lol). Went to FireStarters where Marc Treiber preached an awesome message. My favorite line..."drop the drama and put on the armor of God." So good! :) Then after that, Fellowship Night. Went past midnight. :) Then a group of us just hung out, talked, laughed, danced...lol It was great. Finally got home past 2 this morning. :) Overall, everything was a success. I'm seriously looking forward to doing more of the Fellowship Nights. I loved seeing everyone just enjoy themselves, have fun, fellowship with everyone...what amazing awesomeness. :) Made my heart ecstatically happy. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, Saturday....oh my word! lol Woke up horribly groggy, as I didn't want to get up. But I did. Naomi and I met Tim at Eisenhower park and we hiked for about 2 hours. Lemme tell you...lol It was seriously TOUGH!! But I did enjoy myself. lol Afterwards, Naomi and I went to Chick-Fil-A and got us some nuggets (they're under 350 calories, so there!) and water. :)
Now, working on Staycation stuff. That's right. For those who know what a Staycation is, one is in the works!! I'm super excited about all of this!! I have fun doing things like this....the planning, organizing, running things. Makes my heart happy. Although even with this I have to learn balance, and how to manage stress. But also, one thing I think He's trying to teach me with this...is how to speak out and have my own voice. That I'm not a wallflower. He's created me to do good works for Him and His Kingdom, and in those good works, my heart's desire is to praise Him, love Him, glorify Him. So I have to remember that at times when everything in me just wants to scream 'cause there's so much going on...who am I trying to glorify here? Myself, or my Jesus? I hope and pray it's my Jesus. :)
Other than that, it's been, so far, a beautifully gorgeous day. There may be another workout today, but probably not. Oh, and you know what?! On my little calorie counter, cross-country hiking (which is what we did today)...burned 1521 calories for 2 hours. :) That's a little less than what I'm allowed to eat in one day!!!!!!! I think I'll be okay if I skip workout #2! lol
Til tonight, my tiny little world! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, I was sitting here working on stuff (I think that's my favorite phrase right now...I say it at work a lot too! haha), and just going over some conversations I had recently, including last night. And I realized some things. 1) I get interrupted a lot, and the person I'm talking to kinda forgets that we were in a conversation and walks away, or starts a new one. And just now realizing that that hurts just a bit sometimes, depending on the conversation. At one point, I found myself saying, "it's okay; it didn't matter anyway." when it really, really did. So, I keep quiet a lot, 'cause I think that what I have to say, no one really cares, or that it doesn't matter what I have to say. And, as I can feel my eyes watering up...yeah, that's not okay. 2) I found this thought popped into my head this afternoon..."I will always put someone else's needs, desires, and wants above my own. I'm not as important. I'm okay with doing the work, cleaning, running things if everybody else is happy and fellowshipping. Besides, no one even notices anyway." And wow...ummm...I don't know how to take that, or what to think, or make of it. Except that I think a part of my heart still needs to be healed from some things (not unusual in this season)...but I think it's starting to bother me a lot more...this wallflower thing...because I'm not made to be a wallflower. I like when people stop and say thanks, or give me a hug, or do something without me asking them to do it. It's the small things that count, and I think we, in our busyness (as I include myself in this too!) forget that. Which confuses me...as my love language I think has changed. lol A meshing of three different worlds: words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service. I've been one for so long, that though it's not my primary receiving love language, it's become intertwined. And I know I don't do things for the recognition, as I cringe. But I do like thank yous. I feel like a walking contradiction sometimes! haha
So, in my world right now...I don't really know a lot...things have been turned upside down, shaken, stirred, chopped, butchered, massacred...*sigh* This whole thing is nuts and tough and hard. And sometimes I find myself really wanting to quit, as this one question keeps popping up, "Who am I?" Who have You created me to be? Everything has changed. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stress that enough. My world has been torn apart, blasted to pieces, crumbled to the ground, and bull-dozed over. Now...now...I don't know. Some things are just...BLEGH!
There...that's a bit better for my heart now that I could just write everything out...
I'm still in this awkward moment season right now. And I just want to scream and scream and scream. But that's not a bad thing. :) It means I'm changing and growing. I just wish I knew where He was headed in all of this. It would make my life so much easier. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear random day today,
You had your moments. I had mine. I won. And brought you over to the dark side for some cookies and milk.
I just wanted to let you know...I won. I beat you, random day. I got one thing accomplished, well 2 if you count my workout. And you...you just continued your merry little way.
Now, now I can sit back, watch movies, and possibly stay up WAY later than I'm supposed to. Why? Because I can. And because I'm waiting for my next movie to finish loading. To which I will probably fall asleep 30 minutes into it after a nice, tall, cool glass of water.
Yes, random day, I enjoyed you. I even busted out the fan that spins just so that I could continue to enjoy you, rather than wake up drenched in sweat for the, like, 5th night in a row. Yes, I know God created me warm-blooded...occasionally wish I could not be so...uh...warm.
Yes, random day. You were good to me. Thoughts were jotted, people called, facebook stalked...
Thanks, random day, for everything. You are MUCH appreciated. Remind me to hug you.
Sincerely,
random day counter
No comments:
Post a Comment